Life is a Miracle

When I started this blog, my focus was about losing weight and feeling better about myself. Weight has been a constant struggle for me, and I hated exercise...mostly because it hurt. But after two years, we discovered that my back wasn't my problem...my hip was the cause of all of my pain. I had surgery on April 21st, and life was good. Boy, looking back, my weight is such a minor issue. I'm blessed to be alive and healthy (relatively). You see, life can change in an instant, as I learned on Mother's Day weekend. I wish I could put into words what happened that weekend, but I just can't find the words. Luckily, my Mom could. Below is an e-mail that my Mom sent to family and friends that weekend...

"I don't even know how to begin to relate the happenings of this Mother's Day weekend. It was the highest of times and the lowest of times. On Saturday morning we awoke to a beautiful day and were so thankful because our son, Paul, was in charge of a 5K Charity Race as a memorial for Dylan Meier, a young man who died at the age of 26 in a tragic hiking accident last year. This was a young man that Paul was friends with and had played ball within Jr. High and High School. So the race was special to him on many levels. Working for the Kansas City Sports Association organizing these types of events are in his job description so there was a professional side to the race. And because of his friendship with Dylan there was a personal side also. For days he had been concerned about the weather with the possibility of thunderstorms being forecast. So there was elation all the way around when we awoke to such a beautiful day. When we reached the football stadium for the start of the race the sight of almost 650 participants standing amidst tents, balloons, banners, and baby strollers was awe inspiring. The event felt more like a reunion than an athletic happening.

Our family had a number of entrants: Nick (a nephew, 26); Meagan (daughter-in-law, 25); Caleb (nephew, 18); Jonah (nephew, 14); and Sydney (niece, 13). Paul was everywhere at once and things were running like clockwork. The runners were quite a sight leaving the stadium and then the walkers (almost 200) began to walk the track for the mile course. My sister, Lisa, sister-in-law, Julie, Paul's Mother-in-law, Leatha, Paul's little girl, Quincy (in stroller) and I began a leisurely fun walk around the course. As we were finishing up the first of the runners was reentering the stadium going for the finish line. The four of us women went and stood close to the entry of the stadium so that we could get pictures as our family members came running in. As we stood there my brother, Mark, (a physician from North Carolina visiting for Mother's Day) came and stood beside us. He had been out playing golf and was late getting to the run. With just a few runners having come through on the way to the finish line we see Caleb running in. All of a sudden we hear him shouting for a medic and yelling that Nick (our 26 yr. old nephew) was down. My brother took off running with all of us steps behind. Nick had collapsed just yards from the entrance to the stadium. Nick is 6 ft. 1in. and weighs 185 lbs and played football at PSU for four years. He was in awesome shape so we were all thinking he must have tripped or fainted. While the temperatures were not exceedingly warm, the sun was out and the humidity was high. So you can imagine my shock as I came around the gate and found my brother doing CPR. Nick's heart had stopped. How do I begin to relate the horror of seeing Mark doing chest compressions and yelling at Nick to "stay with us". Mark continued doing CPR until the ambulance showed up and they used the defibrillator. As they loaded him in the ambulance they still had no heartbeat and we were going on 12 min. As our entire family raced to the hospital we prayed that God would give us a miracle and bring Nick back to us. Nick's parents, (my brother Joe and his wife, Janice) were in Manhattan at a baseball game with their son, Daniel. Making the call to them was heart wrenching. When my brother, Mark, joined us in the waiting room and we saw his tear stained face our hearts sank. But not too many minutes later the emergency room doctor came back and said that Nick's heart had miraculously restarted in the ambulance and that he was awake, alert, and talking. I can't begin to tell you what that felt like. Even the doctors were throwing around the words, miracle and miraculous. Nick doesn't remember a lot of what happened that day but continued to improve and was released from the hospital yesterday. He has an appointment with 2 heart specialists in Wichita today to try to find out why a healthy 26 year old has his heart stop beating. All I can tell you is that our prayers were answered. I have no doubt that it was the prayers of everybody who was at the race and the 35 family members who were in the emergency room.

For Paul all of this was particularly hard. He was responsible for the event, and Nick, besides being his cousin, is also one of his best friends. It was also particularly hard for the Meier family since Nick was also a friend of Dylan’s and Dylan's parents are friends with Janice and Joe. The horror that Janice and Joe might also lose a son was devastating to the Meier family. God heard all our prayers and we are so thankful. We are so aware of how wondrously God works. The fact that Mark was in town on this particular day; that he decided to come to the race even though he was late; that Nick collapsed just feet from where there was a medical person and not along the route; and that there were so many people that offered up their prayers on site is truly God's gift to us. Now our goal is just to get the sight of Nick being worked on out of our heads. I ask all of you to say a prayer for Nick and his family that the doctors are able find the problem and that it is easily corrected. If this experience does nothing else it reminds us to live each day as if it were our last and to remember to say I love you to the people in our life that we care about. So as I send this out to all of you I want to say, I love you!"

Nick is doing fine now. He has been diagnosed with a rare syndrome called Brugada. Basically, it is an "instant death" syndrome that causes the heart to stop. It is not brought on by exercise, and the heart is in perfect health. He had a pacemaker and defibrillator put in his heart last week. It will take 30 days for everything to be 100%, but if his heart should ever randomly stop, it will restart itself. We are so lucky and thank God everyday for bringing Nick back to us.

It was after this weekend that I realized that my weight is not that big of a deal. God, prayer, family, and friends are what are important. I should be grateful for everything that I have and live life to the fullest. If along the way, I lose weight...so be it. But I need to remind myself that my weight doesn't define me. My faith in God and love of my family defines me.

When I was born, I almost died three separate times but survived with minor medical issues, my 10-year-old nephew was in serious condition last year after being hit in the head with a golf ball but is completely healthy today, and now my 26-year-old cousin has recovered in perfect health after his heart stopped for no reason...after all of those instances how can I not help but believe that life is a gift from God. Life is what we make of it. So, while there will be times when I might not be happy with how I look or how much I weigh...I need to remember that I have friends to help me along the way. No matter how bad I feel, I need to remember that God is walking beside me. If I trust in Him, have faith in myself, and remain positive...I can do anything!

"Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we cannot explain, surround us on every hand: life itself is the miracle of miracles." ~George Bernard Shaw

Oh my goodness, oh my goodness

I know what you are thinking..."Oh no, what is wrong? Did she hurt her fingers? Did she go on a binge? Is her mind finally going? I mean, the girl hasn't blogged in forever". Was I close? Was that what you were thinking? Let me tell you, I totally have forgotten that I haven't been blogging. Oh no, my mind is going!!!!

Seriously, things have been crazy busy so I just forget. So, here is a recap of the days since my last post....

I have not lost any weight this week, but I haven't gained either. I'm stuck at the 10 pound weight loss. I need to pick up my game instead of food this week. The structure (my neighbor's shed) is finally out of my yard and the fence is fixed. Whoo hoo! Duke & KU lost in the NCAA basketball tournament...darn it! So, I'm cheering for Butler to win it all this year. I just love a Cinderella team! I can say that now that my teams have lost. :) My nephews get cuter and cuter everyday. I had the kids while my sister and her husband were out of town. Can I just say, I love when they fight over who gets to sit next to me. Petty, I know. Makes me smile every time though. Finally, I finally got an answer to my medical problems.

As I've mentioned in past posts, I've had back pain for a little over a year. The epidural shot helped, but in September my hips started to hurt. I was warned that this could be due to my degenerative disk in my back. So, I had another round of epidural shots. When that didn't work, my pain doctor said he thought I had bursitis. So, I got a shot for that. That didn't work, so we went to Mayo to get a second opinion on having back surgery. They said that my back looked good for the time being, & they gave me two more shots for bursitis. That didn't work. Finally, I decided to go see the orthopedic doctor that did my knee and shoulder surgery (he doesn't do backs). He said that if I was his daughter, he would have me see a hip specialist. So, on Wednesday, we drove 4 hours to see the hip specialist. I was sure he would say back surgery was in my future. Nope, he said hip surgery was in my future.

Due to problems I had at birth, I have no fine motor skills on my left side. My left leg is a little shorter than my right and my left leg turns in a little. Other doctors said that this had nothing to do with my pain...WRONG! Apparently, my hip is not working the way it should. So now, I'm going to have to have a two phase procedure/surgery. I'll have to have a rod put in, possibly have my knee worked on as well, & be on crutches for 12 weeks (at least). I'm not really sure what the medical diagnosis is but the diagnosis in layman's terms (according to my doctor) is that I'm just messed up. Please, I made that diagnosis years ago (so did half my family). ;)

Now, I'll go for my second appointment this Friday to find out the extent of the damage. That will determine if my surgery will take place in Oklahoma or Texas. I'm a little scared of the whole surgery thing, but I can't wait to start feeling better! I owe Dr. Stringer so much. If he hadn't referred me to Dr. Martin, I would have had back surgery, but it wouldn't have fixed my hip pain.

I can't wait to be pain free, start exercising again, and seriously start losing weight. It is amazing how a correct diagnosis can make you feel so much better even though your pain stays the same. Thank you so much Dr. Stringer!!!! You are the best!!!!!

A Day Late and a Pound Short

Wow, I've really been busy the past couple days! I can't believe that I almost forgot to blog about my weigh in on Moday and how things are progressing. So, let me tell you about the past few days...

Unfortunately, this has not been a great week (and it just started). For the past four days I have had sciatica pain on my right side in addition to the pain in my left hip. It sucks!!! I'm sick of hurting, I'm sick of having to take pain killers, I'm sick of eating ice cream...oops, that just snuck in there. Luckily, I gave up sweets for Lent so I haven't been pigging out on sweets. Notice the qualifier...sweets. That doesn't mean I haven't been eating.

I may have mentioned that I'm an emotional eater. So, when I get upset I eat more than I should. I don't wolf down a whole pizza, but I don't stop after one piece either. I've been so good about my calorie intake and my water intake these past few weeks, that I'm a little put out by these past few days. The good news is I only gained a pound. I'm just so upset with myself! I just wish I had something new to focus on...
Not necessarily what I meant. You are probably wondering what this is a picture of...drum roll, please...that is my neighbor's shed. Yep, we've had high winds recently. Strong enough winds that my neighbor's shed just knocked down part of my fence and rolled into my yard. Perfect! Something new to agonize over. Of course, the house next door is a rental and getting a hold of the landlord is taking forever! Ugh! I need a vacation, or just something to take my mind off of the "structure" (as my other neighbor calls it) in my back yard.

So, by now, I'm hoping that some of my readers are feeling really sorry for me and wondering how to help. I could be an upstanding person, and say that I don't need anything. Please...of course I want something (preferably covered in chocolate...just kidding). So, if anyone feels bad enough to donate their NCAA tournament tickets to a person in need of a break...I won't turn them down. All I can say is...Let's go KU & Duke!!! Oh, and VCU and Butler, the upset teams I'm cheering for. And Ohio St. and San Diego St., play well...my bracket needs you to win. And UNC, I hope you lose! What did you expect, I'm a Duke fan! And...oh well, I'm just ready for everyone to play ball. To end this post let me repeat my March Madness Wish...

May your teams be nimble, may your teams be quick, may your teams trump the teams that make you sick. May your teams advance to the big dance, as they score and make their way to the Final Four!

How to have a successful blog

When I first started blogging, I was just blogging for myself. It was a way for me to stay honest about my weight loss or weight gain. It was therapy. Yet, somewhere along the way, I decided that I wanted my blog to appeal to others. I wanted to make people smile with my crazy viewpoints on dieting and weight loss. I wanted to take a serious (and sometimes depressing) topic and make it fun and relatable. So, I started researching. I read article after article about having a successful blog. The end result...become an expert on your topic. Seriously, that's all it takes. I can do that! So, below is my first piece of advice from a dieting "expert".

The best way to eat ice cream is to eat it when it is frozen solid and not soft. Trying to get an ice cream scoop through hard ice cream is quite the workout. So, you benefit from this two ways. You use the muscles in your arms, and you eat less since it is hard to scoop. I also recommend using both your right and left hand to scoop. You don't want the muscle on your right to be overdeveloped when compared to the muscle on your left.

Now, I'm sure some of you are thinking...that is her "expert" advice. Of course it is! To have a successful blog, I need to be an expert. Let's face it, if I was an expert on weight loss, I would be a size two! It amazes me that "blogging experts" recommend reading articles on my blog topic, watching videos, and reviewing items because that will make me an expert and a successful blogger. Come on...that just makes me knowledgeable about what works for others. If it worked for everyone, no one would have weight issues. I prefer to be an "expert" on what makes me successful, what makes me laugh about the whole weight loss experience, and making friends with people in the same boat as myself. If that means my blog won't be successful, but I will...I can live with that!

Additional expert recommendation:
Count the number of times I used the word "expert" in this post, and drink that many glasses of water. Not the most fun "drinking game"...but a game is a game, right? Take it from me, I'm an "EXPERT"...Hey, there's another one!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

Kids, weight loss, and basketball...does it get any better?

My life could not get any better than it is right now! I just spent a great (and busy) five days watching my four nephews. It was a little crazy at times, but they were a lot of fun! I especially enjoyed waking up at 4AM with my sister's youngest. Colt was wide awake and more than happy to point out my nose and eyes. I wanted to be mad at him, but he has a smile that just melts my heart. Carston spent the most time with me. One night I was lying on the couch with my book, and the next thing I know Carston is lying at the other end of the couch with his book. I love that he is my reader!!! Cooper, the second oldest is the definition of sweet! He missed his mom and dad. He would show me a picture of him and his mom that was taken at his school's "T" party. He was so proud of that picture, and showed it to me daily. Finally, there is Cade. He is the oldest and loves all things sports. He and I went to church on Saturday, and then made it home for the second half of the KU/Texas game. We cheered the Jayhawks to victory and talked basketball most of the night. It was great! Could my life get any better?

Yep!!! Now, the best news of all...I lost another 2 pounds! I'm sooooo happy I could scream! I wasn't sure how I did this week since I didn't follow my diet plan as well as I would have liked. I mean, I quit drinking water and lived off of Sonic's Diet Cherry Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper for three days! I was like an addict that needed a fix. I'll be honest, I wouldn't be surprised to know that the Sonic carhops know my name and car. Seriously, I was there a lot! I blame it on Happy Hour...the 2 best hours of my day. Who doesn't love half price drinks? I'm just "happy" that Happy Hour didn't hinder my weight loss!

Speaking of Happy Hour...my week will be full of Happy Hours as the NCAA Basketball Tournament starts this week. This is my favorite holiday of all time! I'm still campaigning to make March Madness a recognized holiday. It is a special time (she says with tears in her eyes). Such hard work, such dedication, such drama...I live for this stuff! Rock Chalk Jayhawk....Go KU!!! and Let's go Duke!!!

March Madness 2011 Poem
Tournament time is here,
Let's give a big cheer,
for the teams that are great,
and make the top 68.
The teams have been drawn,
and TVs will be on,
to watch the fellas,
and hopefully some Cinderellas,
fight to advance,
to the big dance.
It is my wish,
that the guards dish,
to the guys down low,
and they make at least a free throw.
All I can say,
is that I love each day,
that I get to view,
my favorite teams...Go KU!

I hate to toot my own horn...but "TOOT TOOT"!

First off, let me welcome Jo and Anne to the blog! Thank you so much for your kind words, and taking time to share your thoughts with me. I appreciate your kindness!

Last week was a great week! I actually stuck to my diet plan and lost...wait for it...drum roll please...is the curtain ready?...by the way did I mention I'm dramatic?...or maybe I'm annoying...I guess it depends on who you talk to...so, where was I? Oh yeah, I lost THREE pounds last week. I hate to toot my own horn, but TOOT TOOT!

First, I want to thank the academy. Wait, wrong speech! First, I want to thank Dillons and Ron's. Your great sales on Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones made my week (5 meals for $10, 2 meals for $4, and 2 meals for $5). Thank you to Dunkin' Donuts! Without your coffee I would not have made it through the week. Thank you to my water filter. My 64 ounces a day tasted great! I couldn't have done it without you. Finally, thank you to the big people (and no I'm not referring to your size...little people just seems condescending). My family, friends, and fellow bloggers...you have been behind me 100%. I'm sure that is not the view of me that you would prefer, but maybe you have noticed that my behind is smaller. I couldn't have done it without your support! Thank you for your kindness, words of wisdom, and good humor. It is because of you that I have made it this far.

Seriously, this past week has been great. I had a healthy breakfast, a healthy lunch, and either a Lean Cuisine or Smart One for dinner. I kept my calories between 1000 and 1200 calories per day, and I drank my 64 ounces of water. I can't wait until I feel up to exercising because I'm sure that it will make my experience that much better. I have an appointment with the hip specialist at the end of the month. If he rules out my hip pain as being caused by my hips, then I will need to reconsider back surgery. I'm not sure which to hope for, but I'm ready to start exercising! I'm so excited!!!

I hope everyone is loving their Monday as much as I am. Have a good one!!!

Goals...I guess I should have some

Many of you might not know this, but I'm not an organized individual. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I don't do lists,
I don't do outlines, and I don't have an organizer. It just isn't me. My mind just wanders too much. I mean, I try to log-in to calorie counting websites, but I would rather calculate it in my head. Weird...I know! However, I figure that it is time to get serious about my goals and (gulp) write them down.

So, let's see, how do people normally do this? Do I need numbers or dots? Better yet, does anyone have a list template? Nope...ok, I'll give list making my best shot.

1. Lose weight (too generic)
2. Lose 61 pounds (Wow, that is a lot)
3. Re-evaluate the actual weight loss number as I lose dress sizes. A size 8 would be ideal. (I think the last time I was that size I was eight...hum)
4. Drink 64oz of water a day (Thank goodness for the 32oz cup I received from the hospital at my last surgery. It is a HUGE help in keeping track of my water intake. Of course, it probably cost me $100 for that cup...darn hospitals).
5. Eat smaller portions. (I'm rocking this goal. I eat meals off of a salad plate to keep my portions small).
6. Exercise! (This one is huge. I don't exercise at all right now. That is not something I would recommend to anyone! Hopefully, after my next doctors appointment this will improve).
7. 1st Goal - 175 pounds
8. 2nd Goal - 150 pounds
9. Final weight loss goal...135 pounds or a size 8.

Wish me luck!

Oh, by the way, I was wrong in my last post. You can win on Top Chef when you make risotto. Who knew! Have a great weekend everyone!!!

The Best Diet Aid of 2011

Finally, I have found it! The best diet aid ever...or at least in 2011. The best part is it doesn't cost you a thing. Unless you don't have cable, then it might cost you a little bit. This aid will work for anyone. OK, that isn't true. It will only work for people that don't want to cook or people that don't like to cook. The answer...drum roll please...everyone have their pencils handy...the best diet aid of 2011 is THE FOOD NETWORK!


Now, I'm sure many of you are confused, so let me explain. I'm not much of a cook, and I really have no desire to cook. I blame this on being single. I used to cook meals for myself, but then I always had leftovers that went bad. It was so frustrating. To make matters worse, I'm a snacker...cookies, crackers, chips..oh my! Now, this is where The Food Network comes in.

I'll give you an example of a typical evening. So, it is Monday night and I'm watching an episode of Castle. A commercial comes on for ice cream, and it is all I think about. I have to have ice cream. I can't watch Castle fight the bad guys without ice cream! Oh no...I can't get that creamy, cold, confection out of my head.

Now, it is Tuesday night, and I'm watching Cupcake Wars and Chopped. All I can think is about is cupcakes and a picnic basket full of crazy food items. You know, thoughts like...wow, that baker is putting salmon in her cupcake. She is crazy! How did that chef brown the meat like that? Why did they pick risotto? I know that risotto is a difficult dish to do correctly in a short amount of time. Ugh...I don't even know what risotto is but I know it is a risk. Seriously, risotto will most likely not be the winning dish.

So, have you noticed a difference? Apparently, I can watch any cooking show (Chopped, Top Chef, Cupcake Wars, Cake Boss, Ultimate Cakes, The Next Food Network Star) and not crave a snack. I don't even crave a meal. I mean, I'm loving what they are making, but I have no desire to do it myself. It is funny, but on the days when these shows air, my calorie intake is lower.

Isn't it amazing? Who knew that cooking shows were a weight loss tool for the cooking challenged! I'm excited, I'm thrilled, I've lost weight...Thank you Food Network, TLC, and Bravo. You have been my greatest dieting aid.

You know, this has me thinking...scary I know. If watching food shows doesn't make me want to eat, then maybe seeing Archie Bunker sitting in his chair will make me want to exercise. Probably not, but a girl can dream.

Do you believe in miracles???

Wow, I just experienced a February 28th miracle. Now this miracle isn't as special as a Christmas Miracle, but it is up there. Drum roll please....I lost 3 pounds!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!

Now, I'm sure that many of you are wondering, "How is this a miracle"? It is a miracle because I have no clue how I did it. Was it willpower? Nope, never met him! Was it exercise? Nope, my back and hips are still making exercise too painful to do. Was it because I stayed on the wagon? Nope, I never even made it on the wagon. Hum...what caused this February 28th Miracle?

• It could be because I started taking my vitamin D again.
• It could be because, even though I ate foods I loved, I ate very small portions. (Let me say a quick “thank you” to the individual that created the salad plate).
• It could just be my mind set. I've started to think more positive. Maybe my mind is winning over my matter (fat cells).
• Or, it could be that I lost weight when I chased the diet wagon, grabbed hold, and was dragged for a good part of the week.

Who cares? It happened, I gave thanks, and now a new week starts. Hopefully, I can use this as a great motivator to continue moving forward. Who knows I might even meet the man of my dreams...Will Power! Miracles really do happen!!!!

Times, they are changin'...why can't dieting?

You know, the older I get, the more I become aware of the past. I don't know if the same is true for everyone, but that is definitely how I am. It seems you can't get away from change. Yet, the older you get, you realize that change (for the most part) isn't change at all...it is rebirth. Basically, everything is a cycle. Old clothes, furniture, and hairstyles become popular again. Movies and TV shows are remakes of successful shows from the past. Books are re-released with some minor changes so they are not so dated. It seems as if most things popular in the past become popular in the future. So, I have to ask...when is Rubenesque going to be popular again?

I'm sure you are wondering...if she is trying to lose weight, why does she want Rubenesque to become popular again? So, it is time for me to be honest. Here goes! Is my phone ringing? Wait, maybe someone is at the door. OK, no more procrastinating...honesty time. The truth (gulp) is that I fell off the wagon this week. Who am I kidding? I never even made it on the wagon this week. It came by, and I tried to hop on but my hands were a little full at the time.

Ugh! I'm sooo frustrated with myself. It has been about 6 months since my exercise has been completely limited, if not, non-existent...yet, I still eat like I'm taking exercise classes at the Y. Let's face it, when it comes to dieting it is all about mind over matter. In my case, my matter (fat cells) is winning over my mind.

So, today is a new day! Even though I can't control that I'm unable to exercise, I can control what I eat. I need to be strong, I need to be tough, and I need to find the will power to not overeat when I'm upset. If I can do this, I WILL lose weight before summer is upon us. Or, if all else fails, I can hope and pray that times are a changin' and Rubeneque will make a comeback. What...it could happen!

I wish my life was like TV.

You often hear the saying that life imitates art. Too bad my life doesn't imitate some of my favorite TV shows or movies. I mean, my life does have some obvious similarities to some shows...Friends, Seinfeld, The Amazing Race, and Castle. I'm sure that you are intrigued, so that me explain the similarities.

Friends - You are probably thinking "WOW"...she must be a beautiful, skinny, single, thirty-something female, living in the city, dating many men, has great friends, and has an exciting job. Um...sort of. I'm a single, thirty-something female with great friends. Oh yeah, I also like coffee. Aren't the similarities amazing!

Seinfeld - Basically, this TV show was extremely funny even though it was about nothing. My blog is the same way! It is slightly amusing, and sometimes it too is about nothing.

The Amazing Race - Any one who has ever dieted can see the correlation between the show and dieting. Starting the race (losing the weight) hoping to make it to the finish line and win a million dollars (hoping to reach your goal weight and feel like a million dollars). Along the way coming across detours, roadblocks, and U-turns (desserts...need I say more) but still trying to reach the pit stop (mini goals) along the way. Too bad my dieting journey doesn't include a good looking host. Hum...this might be something to look into.

Castle - a show about a witty, crime author that works with the police to solve cases. He also uses the detectives he works with as inspiration for his stories. Again, I'm sure you are thinking, "I didn't know that she writes crime stories". Nope, I don't...but I do read them. No, I feel that my life is like the TV show Castle because I love to write (and read). Also, I too draw inspiration from those around me. I love reading and hearing about other people and their success stories.

OK, so maybe my life isn't just like a TV show, but isn't pilot season coming up in April? Maybe, I could create a show about a sweet, single, thirty-something woman that is blessed with a lot of family and friends. She loves to read and write, and she is constantly chasing her goal of losing weight. Once she reaches her goal, regardless of the roadblocks and detours, she wins a million dollars. I'll call it The Race to the Castle with Friends who talk about nothing but winning something Amazing. OK, so maybe incorporating all of my favorite shows in the title wasn't a good idea. Any ideas?

Motivation...I don't know what that means

Recently, whenever I hear someone refer to the word "motivation", I can't help but channel one of my favorite TV characters.
To quote Dr. Temperance Brennan (a.k.a Bones)...I don't know what that means. You see, I recently discovered that I still may need to have back surgery. Before I take that step, my doctor wants me to see a hip specialist to rule out my hips being the cause of my pain instead of my back. Seriously...another doctor, another test, more pain medication...oh yeah, and on top of that I would LOVE to lose weight.

Needless to say, with all of the stress and discomfort, exercise is the last thing on my mind. The good news is I'm not an emotional eater. Oh, I think I hear an ice cream truck...where are my shoes? OK, who am I kidding? Of course I'm an emotional eater! So let's recap, no exercise plus stress and frustration leads to eating...yep, I'm not going to lose weight anytime soon. So, I've decided to get motivated. But what does that mean?

Well, Webster's defines "motivated" as to provide with a motive or to incite. Huh? Oh, I get it...to provoke, move, prompt. So, what would provoke or prompt me to exercise (regardless of the pain) and to not eat when I'm upset? Hum...I've listed some ideas below...

1. Locate a good looking guy that is jogging and chase him. Hey, having something to chase could work.
2. Getting paid to lose weight. Not gonna happen...next.
3. Sharing stories with others that are just as frustrated as I am. This could work, but what about eating?
4. Treat myself like an addict and give up chocolate forever. Maybe find a support group for Chocoholics Anonymous. It is a thought, but give up chocolate forever...not gonna happen.
5. Put an underground electric "fence" around my fridge like people have in their yards for dogs. It just might work!

I better go start filling out the forms for my patent. I mean "shock" therapy to stop eating could work. Of course, if all of the above fails, I could always rely on my family and friends to continue giving me their support, encouragement, and recipes. It might not motivate me to exercise and stop being an emotional eater, but it does give me hope! It makes me work harder and not give up. Hum...maybe I am motivated!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! I wish I could say that I'm spending this romantic holiday with the love of my life, but I have yet to find him. So, I'll be spending this valentine's day like any other...alone. I know what you are thinking. How sad! But, you couldn't be more wrong. I've been blessed with the love of great family and friends. I, in no way, feel like I'm missing out. However, if you want to throw a nice, funny single guy at me...I won't throw him back. ;)


Until I meet that special someone, I will continue to be grateful for all of those currently in my life. I've already received roses from 4 of the men in my life. The oldest is funny and witty. He loves sports and can make me smile at the drop of a hat. The second oldest is one of the sweetest guys I've ever met. He just wants to make everyone happy and let me tell you...he does. The next guy just melts my heart. He has curly hair and is always happy to see me. He too enjoys a good book, and he always tells me he loves me. Finally, the youngest of my men, likes to cuddle. He'll sit with me and hug me. He gives me these grins that just make me fall in love with him again and again.
These four men may be younger than me, but I love them with all my heart! Cade, Cooper, Carston, and Colton...I love you guys! Thanks for the flowers! You will always be the four special men in my life!

I have also been blessed with 6 other very special individuals. My oldest nephew, Drew has matured into a wonderful young man. When he was two years-old he talked so distinctly that you understood every word. I couldn't wait to hear what he would say. As he has gotten older, that hasn't changed. He is a great football player, hunter, and a GREAT older brother! I'm so proud of the man he has become and I can't wait to see what the future holds for him. His sisters, Margaret and Mary, are a trip. When around a lot of people Margaret can be shy, but when she is with family she is quite outgoing. She loves everything from dolls to dancing, to playing with the boys. Mary, on the other hand, does not know the meaning of shy! She tells it like it is and has the best hand gestures to go with it. Both girls love having Dad and Mom read religious stories to them, and we always have to remind Mary that she is not "Blessed" Mary. They are smart and beautiful. I adore them both.
Their brother Charlie is my little bruiser. He loves to get physical and play with anyone around. He has this smile that lights up a room, and his imitation of Buzz Lightyear is funny to watch. He doesn't always like to cuddle because he is always on the go. But, when he does sit on your lap, you treasure every moment. His little sister Lucy is the observer and explorer. She is too young to do more than roll around and crawl, but she has the biggest and most beautiful eyes you have ever seen. She is always looking around, and when her eyes catch yours, she gets the biggest grin on her face that you can't help but match. Finally, there is little miss Quincy. She is our Miss Independent and daredevil. She is only one years-old and she already wants to do everything for herself. She doesn't mind sitting on your lap, but she is usually showing you something at the time (and of course, doing it herself). She always makes me nervous when she gets on her rocker and stands while rocking. Q, as we call her, has a laugh that is infectious and you can't help but laugh with her.

I'm blessed to have such beautiful, funny, smart, and loving nieces and nephews. They fill my heart with love, and I couldn't ask for better valentines!

I'm willing to do anything...as long as it's legal

I'll admit it. I'm losing my motivation to lose weight. I'll be doing really well, and then I get sick or my back and hip pain kick in with a vengeance. At this point, I'll do anything (as long as it's legal). Who am I kidding...I don't care if it is legal as long as I get my motivation back.

Funny, I know that Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and Nutrisystem want to motivate me to lose weight by using a celebrity spokesman that has had the same problem. I hate to break it to them, but it doesn't work. I'd be more motivated watching someone within my own tax bracket trying to lose the weight. They are dealing with the same issues I am. They are worried about whether or not they can afford the food, when to find time to exercise, and keeping the motivation going throughout the weight loss process. If I had a personal trainer, a personal chef, a lot of money, and was getting PAID to lose weight...I don't think motivation would be a factor.

So, I'm willing to help out any gym or healthy restaurant. If you want to show how successful your organization is, I will be happy to be your spokesperson. I'll be weighed once a month on any television show to chart my progress, I'll work out with a trainer for free to lose the weight, and I'll eat meals for free to advertise for your restaurant. All I ask in return is for $1000 per pound lost in a six month time frame. It is a win-win. The companies get great advertising showing how great their gym or restaurant is, they would be paying less than if they were paying a celebrity, and I'd only be paid if I lose. It is quite the hardship to offer my services this way, but I'm willing to do anything (legal or not) to help companies successfully advertise. I mean look at Subway!

So, if I could pick companies that I would like to represent, I would pick the following...

1)24 Hour Fitness or Lifetime Fitness...
The fact of the matter is, I WANT to work out. My problem is I'm not sure what exercise will best help me lose weight without further injury to my hips and back. I need guidance, I just can't afford it.

2) Sonic....I know what you are thinking, Sonic isn't healthy. However, if someone could come up with the Sonic Drink Diet, I'd jump all over that. Who doesn't love Sonic drinks? And can I just say "Thanks" to the marketing department that came up with Sonic Happy Hour. I must admit, it is one of my happiest hours.

3) Chipotle...I could make this work if I did all protein and watched my portion size. Who am I kidding, I love their burritos with rice. Ok...Chipotle is out of the running...darn it!

4)bd's Mongolian BBQ...Please, oh please call me. I seriously could eat there everyday!
I would wear t-shirts, I would learn how to work the grill, I would give out coupons to all my loved ones (Paul & Meagan start praying for this one). I honestly think that bd's could benefit just like Subway. Of course, they are already a huge success, but by marketing to those trying to lose weight they could add more restaurants. Pittsburg NEEDS one! Call me, write me, tweet me...help a fat girl's dream come true. Too much? Help a slightly overweight girl help others...think of it as charity! Still too much? I'm on my knees begging and won't get up until I hear from you. Yep...just the right amount of aloofness.

Well, I better go charge my phone for all of the calls I'm sure to receive. Sponsorship, here I come!

Wow, where has the time gone?

Apparently, 2011 is not going to be a great year for me. Mind you, I don't think it will be a bad year, but I don't think it will be a stellar year. I started January off with the stomach flu which was bad, but I did lose 6 pounds because of it...so it wasn't awful. Now, I start February off with my doctor saying, "these prescriptions will cover you for strep, bronchitis, and walking pneumonia". Great! Do you know hard it is to exercise when you are coughing every third or fourth step? Again, there was an upside...food tasted awful so I didn't overeat.

Needless to say, I haven't had a great start to dieting in 2011. I'm trying to decide where I go from here. Do I try Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, or do I just eat sensibly? Of course, not eating sensibly is why I'm overweight in the first place. Any recommendations? Anyone, anyone, Bueller...Bueller. Oh well, here is what I'm thinking...I'll start by just watching my calorie intake and try to exercise (as much as my health permits). I'll see how I've progressed at the end of the month and then re-evaluate.

My 2011 Weight Loss Poem
What can I say, this is not the way,
I saw my year going, with my weight yo-yoing.
I'm sick of feeling awful, and now I crave a waffle.
I wish the snow would go, so I no longer grow,
big and wide, but a woman full of pride.
For I plan to eat right, so my clothes aren't too tight,
and workout like crazy and just quit being lazy.
2011 I thought would be heaven,
instead it has been rough and I look like a cream puff.
So, today is the date that I start to lose weight.
Wish me luck, so I don't get stuck,
in a rut with all of the weight going to my butt!

Not my best work, but you get the idea. Thank you all for your support!

Rough Week

Last week was definitely a tough one. I'm trying so hard NOT to give into temptation, and what happens...sales meeting. Ugh!!! That means breakfast (donuts, rolls, coffee), morning breaks (snickers, peanut butter cups, m&ms, gummy bears, twizzlers...need a say more), lunch with dessert (cookies, brownies, and pies), and afternoon snacks (the morning snacks plus any leftover desserts from lunch). I knew that I needed to test my will power but come on! Give a girl a break! I'm barely into my chocoholic program!

I'm sad to say that I have not last any weight this week. Miraculously, I did not gain either. I've decided that since I haven't lost weight, I need to step up the exercise (and yes that is a pun) since I plan to use my stepper throughout the day. I might do it during the commercial breaks when I watch a TV show or for 10 minutes after every 3rd chapter when I'm reading a book. I might even do it during halftime of any sporting event that I watch. Baby steps...ha ha, me and steps. Hopefully this will help with the weight loss.

Also, I plan to try one of Hungry Girl's soup recipes in the next week or so. It is her Hungry Chick Chunky Soup Recipe. A one cup serving size has 150 calories, 1g fat, 570mg sodium, 15g carbs, 4.25g fiber, 5g sugars, 20.5g protein. Also, the recipe is labeled as easy which means even someone with my limited cooking knowledge can do it! I'm really looking forward to trying some of the recipes from the Hungry Girl Cookbook and website. Has anyone tried her recipes? I would love to get your thoughts or any variations you may have done. Thanks!!!

Well darn!

I'm sorry to say that since January 6th, I've gained two pounds. While it is upsetting, I can honestly say that it is not a surprise. My diet for the beginning of 2011 was saltine crackers and Diet 7-UP. Needless to say, now that I have gotten over the flu and resumed eating, my weight has fluctuated a little. I still feel like I'm doing well though. I'm eating all of my meals on a salad plate (which means that my portions are smaller), I'm not going back for seconds, and I'm more active than I've been in a long time.

I did have a small set back on Saturday. My family from North Carolina was visiting, and we went to a steak house. At first, I was very pleased with myself. I only ate half of my meal. Yay me! Then I remembered! I must have blocked it out since it goes against all of my dieting principles but I ate onion rings. Or should I say I ate "great" onion rings? What was I thinking...other than I want more. This was seriously not my best moment.

Hopefully, these next few weeks will be better. While it is always upsetting to gain weight, it isn't the end of my diet. It just means that I need to work a little bit harder on my will power. If I truly want to succeed, I need to stay focused on my goal and not give up after every set back. Thanks to all of my supporters! Your encouragement helps! If you have any recommendations for recipes, please feel free to post them. I'm always looking for healthy recipes!!! Thanks again!!!

Desperation Dance Part II

It is official...I have no will power. I thought that I could wait in until the end of the month before trying on my size 16 jeans, but I gave into temptation. I just wanted to know how close I was to reaching my next goal. Mentally, I knew that 5 pounds was not going to make the difference, but the tiny voice in my head said that maybe 5 pounds was all I needed.

So, I grabbed my cutest pair of size 16 jeans (believe it or not there is a cute pair of size 16 jeans). They make my butt look smaller. Anyway, I was able to get them up to my thighs, but there was still a little bit of my desperation dance needed to get them all of the way up. You know the dance. Many of you are familiar with the dance if not the title. It is where you start to put on a pair of pants and then do the following: pull, push, plead, and pledge never to eat bad again as long as these stupid things fit. Then through divine intervention (and a lot of sweat and effort), they are where they are supposed to be. Then the next challenge begins...getting them buttoned.

Well, I'm pleased to say that while the dance was needed, there was less dancing and desperation this time around. I won't lie, everytime I attempt this dance I have some appropriate music playing in my head so I put a little more movement into it. By the way, I think the song Maniac was written because someone witnessed the desperation dance first hand. Where was I? Oh yeah...so I think I'm three pounds away from the size 16 jeans fitting. Whoo Hoo! And I'm 5 pounds away from them fitting so I can breathe when I sit (being able to do this is highly overrated). Not sure when I'll start wearing them full time. Hopefully soon! Size 16 here I come!

Not too bad...

Wow, I can honestly say that 12 days into 2011 and I'm not doing too bad. I haven't eaten out yet, I haven't had an overload of sweets, and I haven't overeaten. I'm eating three meals a day with all of the portions being served on a salad plate. I also went to the pool again today, and that too wasn't bad. I mean, I would prefer not to wear a swimsuit, but I'm just proud of the fact that I'm sticking with it so far.

So, here are my 11 goals for 2011...
1. Lose weight (obviously).
2. Go from a size 16W to a at least a size 6 or 8 before 2012.
3. To fit into size 16 jeans without having to do my desperation dance by the end of February.
4. To workout at least for 30 minutes three times a week or more.
5. To eat healthy. One dessert and one eating out meal a week (good for the waist line and wallet).
6. Once I get to a size 14, start dressing in something other than XL sweatshirts and yoga pants (I could start now, but that would require buying clothes. I still have all of my nice size 14 clothes, so this goal will be a little ways down the road).
7. To do a better job writing my blog this year (though I don't know how I will top my stellar posts from last year). :)
8. To take pictures at each dress size so I'll have a visual reminder of my success.
9. To drink more water.
10. To get healthy.
11. To never give up or get down on myself.

I CAN DO THIS!!!!

First Official Workout

After many years of failed dieting, I've come to realize that working out is just as important as eating right. Amazingly, this means that I must actually do the activity and not just watch and live vicariously through others. Darn, that means no more eating dinner during The Biggest Loser (which I've only done once or twice, but how sad is that)! So, exercise...here I come!

Yesterday, I put on my bathing suit and headed to the YMCA to walk in the pool. Yes, I said walk. Due to my back and hip problems, the doctor has recommended walking in a pool as the best exercise for me. I must say, I hate that option! Seriously, what heavy person wants to VOLUNTARILY put on a swimsuit just to walk. I personally believe the more layers the better. You know, sweat off more pounds and hide the flab at the same time. I love clothes that have dual purposes!

But, I'm pleased to say that I walked for a half hour yesterday. I must admit that I was self conscious since there were two good looking guys doing laps at the same time, and I was just walking. I wanted to say..."degenerative disc" or "doctors orders", so that they would know that I could swim too but for health reasons I chose to walk. Who am I kidding, one lap and I would be out of breath. Oh well, I stayed in the pool and did my workout. Afterward, I felt great (except for the whole wearing a swimsuit thing)!

Today, I will get my workout at physical therapy. I'll have stretches, ab work, squats, and 15 minutes on the bike. Hopefully, I can keep this routine up and lose another pound or two by Monday!

Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake ~Author Unknown

A new year and a new goal!

Hi all!!! I'm back! So, it is a new year and as you may have guessed, I have new goals. My goal last year was to go from 196 pounds to 135 (or an appropriate dress size). Needless to say, that did not happen. I was hampered by physical ailments (back and hips) that restricted my physical activities and somehow increased my awareness of chocolate. I'm not sure how that happened but it was one crazy side effect! :) So instead of losing 50+ pounds, I only lost 6 pounds. Not anywhere near my goal, but I didn't regain all of the weight. Whoo Hoo...let's celebrate. Ice cream anyone? Bad Amy! Bad!!!

So I started January 1 at 190 pounds. Apparently the "Big Guy" knew that I had no will power, so he aided my new year goal by giving me the worst stomach bug in all of my 33 years. After six days, I was finally able to eat something other than jello and soup. Thank goodness! While the flu was awful, it did help me jump start the new year with a 5 pound weight loss. Now, I just need to keep the momentum going.

So this year my goal is to lose 50 pounds (or a reasonable amount of weight that allows me to fit into a size 6 or 8...I don't remember ever being that size) and to not make excuses. There is no reason that I shouldn't lose the weight this year! So, a new year has started and nothing will keep me from eating right and getting out and exercising...did I mention that it is snowing out.

Happy 2011 everyone and good luck with your 2011 goals (whatever they may be)!!!