Going good so far

Great news...I haven't gained any weight in 8 hours. Woo Hoo!!!! Seriously, one must find little things in life to enjoy. I mean we can't all have our own reality show that motivates us to try our hardest to win cash, prizes, and fame. Oh, but wouldn't it be fun if we did. Sponsors to help with the cost for exercise equipment, the best trainers, nutritionists, in some cases psychologists, working out and sweating like crazy, weighing in for everyone to see, your hair not done, no make-up, wearing tight clothes so people can see the change, knowing that once the weight is off we will be judged if we gain it back...where was I going with this?

Oh yeah, isn't it great to be doing this in the privacy of my own home with family and friends cheering me on to lose the dreaded weight. Being able to use my blog as my own personal confession camera, weigh in tracker, and motivational tool. Who needs a reality show to succeed? Not me! All I need is will power, motivation (to all good-looking, single men, I will be exercising in the morning if you care to be my scenery), and a positive outlook. But let's not go overboard...to all sponsor's out there...I'm always willing to be someone's Jared. Subway...Eat Fresh!

Goals

As I'm sure many of you have noticed, I have not been posting recently. I can sum up why in two words...mild depression. As you know, I was really gung ho to get this diet off to a good start. Which I'm pleased to say that I did. However, recently, I've been trying to deal with pain due to spinal stenosis as well as pain in both my hips. It makes exercise painful, so I don't do it. I know I've gained weight back but I'm afraid to get on the scale and see that all my hard work is for not. Hopefully, my doctor's appointment tomorrow will provide me with much needed answers (or painkillers...whatever works). :)

That being said, I've come to realize that I can't let my goals fall apart. If I do not get this weight off, my back will only get worse. If surgery is required, I will have a more difficult recovery due to my weight. So, it is time to push the pain aside and re-set some goals.

Goal #1 - Don't gain weight (Start easy I always say)
Goal #2 - Try to lose at least 1 pound a week (whether through diet alone or exercise)
Goal #3 - Lose at least 10 pounds by Christmas
Goal #4 - Don't get discouraged! Times have been hard recently, but I want to get back to the fun-loving girl that I was at the beginning of the year.

Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

-Winston Churchill

Crazy week

Great news! I've lost 2 more pounds. Granted I wish the overall number was higher since I started in January, but I'm not discouraged. Had a great holiday weekend! Started with a Colgan football win on Friday, breakfast with Paul, Meagan, Quincy, Megan, Tim, Mom & Dad on Saturday, a Pitt State win on Saturday afternoon, and Quincy's 1st birthday party Saturday night. Then I had Sunday and Monday to recoup. I must admit I ate awful this weekend as we celebrated both Paul's birthday (breakfast with cinnamon rolls) and Quincy's 1st birthday (and yes there was leftover cake). We celebrated their birthday's early since they were in town.

Now, I need to stay focused on this week. I've got Megan's kids on Wednesday and I'll go to KC to watch Quincy on Friday...quality time with my favorite niece and nephews. Hopefully, I can eat better this week and get some walks in between my time with the kids. Need to stay focused on the weight loss goals as I'm looking for a new job. I want to look good in those interview outfits. :)

So far, no feedback on the resumes. I'm not going to stress about it. I'm saying my novena and putting my future into God's hands. Whatever is meant to happen will happen!

The job hunt is on!

Have you ever noticed that finding a job is like gym class. There is always a captain (hiring manager) that is great at the game (job), and you just pray that they pick you. So far I've sent out five resumes (pick me, pick me, pick me) and I'm still in the group of kids waiting to be chosen. I'll admit I don't expect to find something right away, but some feedback would be nice.

So far, my job searches have revolved around administrative jobs in Kansas, Missouri, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Massachusetts. Hopefully, I'll find something before October so I can decide whether or not to put my house on the market. If anyone knows of any jobs, let me know. I need to put myself in as many gym classes as I can!!!!

No complaints so far

Things are going well here! I can feel my legs! :) Seriously, I've been really good. If I'm not having my Power Pump class, I'm riding the bike for at least 30 minutes or walking for an hour. I've also been staying true to my high protein, low carb diet. In a week, I've lost 2 pounds. Yay me!!!!

I just hope that things don't start to get boring. That is when I cheat on my diet and quit my workouts. I can't let that happen. If only there was an Amazing Race exercise class, where you run from obstacle to obstacle and the first person to the scale wins a great prize. Talk about motivation! CBS call me! I've got a million ideas. They may not be original but they would totally rock. I can just picture it...you would be eliminated if you were to step on the scale and not lose any weight. If Phil were to host, I'd run anywhere! ;) It's a thought!

Legs are so overrated

Who am I kidding? Legs are a much needed appendage!!!! Exercise instructors should take that into consideration when calculating the number of squats and lunges a person must do in the name of exercise. The front of my thighs hurt so bad!!!! Now, I know what all of you crazy "I love to exercise" people are thinking...it's a good hurt. Yeah, it might be a good hurt if I didn't have to do it again tomorrow morning. Seriously, they should consider starting classes on Thursday so you have the weekend to recover.

Hopefully, overnight, coffee will be synonymous with water and a great hydrating drink. Hopefully, my 5:45am class changes to 5:45pm. Hopefully, my legs will be better tomorrow and I won't collapse during my push ups. I'm noticing a trend...oh well, all I can do is hope!

And so it begins

Well, I know that I haven't been on in awhile. Sorry!!!! I realize that my lack of blogging corresponds with weight gain, so I'm going to try to be better. I've actually been really busy. I'm actively searching for new jobs, so if anyone knows of anything, please let me know. So far, I've applied for one job in Virginia. Not sure if anything will come of it, but I got the first application under my belt. I applied for a secretarial position for a superintendent. Hopefully, I'll at least get some feedback from the organization. My goal is to have a new job by January and not necessarily in Kansas.

Needless to say, job interviews mean nice clothes. Nice clothes means I need to lose some weight. You see, I have a lot of clothes...they just don't fit. So, what am I going to do? Well, I'm riding the stationary bike 30-60 minutes per day and I started a Power Pump class with Megan this morning. I'm pleased to say that coordination is not required for this class, but I wish someone would have told me that muscles are a plus. Seriously, my legs were like jello afterward and I thought I was going to collapse on the 6th push-up. I can only hope that it will get better! :)

So, as of today, my weight is 189. I'm eating 1200 calories a day (high protein with some carbs), and I'm exercising. So far so good. Oh yeah, I'm praying too! Every little bit helps!!!!

Starting from the beginning

Well, I'm starting over. I've spent so much time focusing on others that I've let my goals slide. Who am I kidding? My goals have crashed and burned. So, it is time for a new me in quarter three. Sounds silly, but you get the idea. I'm going back to high protein meals, drinking water and exercise. Now, I'm sure that you are dying to discover what exercises I'm doing so I'll just tell you...kettlebell workouts.

So far, I really enjoy it. It isn't too hard, doesn't seem to bother my back, and it is a really quick workout. I plan to weigh in starting next Monday, and I hope I haven't gained all of the weight I lost back. From this day forward no looking back just looking forward. Wish me luck!

By the way, if anyone has any good high protein crockpot receipes, please feel free to send them my way. Have a good one!

Day #? - Who knows what day it is!

Wow, I can't believe that it has been so long since I have written. Most of you know why, but for those that do not...I have not written because my life went crazy!!! As you know, I was so excited about getting back on the dieting and exercise wagon. I had bought my ticket, put on my "skinny" Capri pants (hey, they were a size smaller so they qualify), and packed a healthy meal for my new journey. I then started my first day back exercising. I walked 30 minutes, and my cold (that I thought was getting better) knocked me off the wagon.

I couldn't move or talk without coughing. I felt miserable and not in the mood to blog. After my family encouraged me to see a doctor, it was determined that I had acute bronchitis. My exercise plans were put on hold as was my diet. You see, during this time my diet consisted of Chicken Noodle Soup, Crackers, and Orange Juice. It tasted great, but I was in carb overload!!!!

Just as I started getting better, my 9-year-old nephew got sick. He was hit in the head with a golf ball. After 3 doctors visits (where it was deemed that he did not have a concussion), the doctors finally took my sister seriously when she said that he "wasn't right". It was determined that he had a bleed in his brain and was life flighted to Children's Mercy Hospital to undergo surgery. At this point all of my online time was spent in e-mails and on Facebook asking for prayers. The number of people that said that they were praying for Cade was amazing. His classmates and parents went up to the church to say a rosary, the high school kids held a rosary that night, and a classmate even took her slumber party to our Adoration Chapel to pray. Miraculously, Cade did not have to undergo surgery, but did have to spend 5 days in the hospital. This left me with my sister's 3 youngest boys (4, 2, and 1).

They were great...until the day before Cade came home. The youngest was taken to the ER with sores on his throat. He wouldn't eat or drink. My mom was feeding him by dropper. Then, the day after Cade came home, the other two started running a fever. All three had strep throat. Now, I'm sure that you are wondering how all of this craziness affected me. Did I mention that my sister was having construction done on her house and was hanging out at our house? Which was great since she had extra hands on deck. However, my diet and exercise regime tanked. We ate out a lot, I had no exercise (other than chasing kids), and I'm trying to look for a new job so my "new me in a new year" has come to halt.

Then I remembered that some people celebrate Christmas in July. So, that would make August, the equivalent of January (stay with me) and a new year. Wow, I can restart my New Year's resolution! Hopefully, the second go around will be better than the first. So, starting August 1, I will be an exercising machine, that eats only healthy food (ice cream can be considered healthy...dairy), and really focuses on finding a job that I enjoy! Happy soon to be New Year Part II!!!!

Day 154 - A new form of exercise?

Ok...I was all excited about having a really strong week. I was gonna walk one to two miles a day, and maybe attempt to do aerobics. No one is around to see my clumsiness so now is the perfect time. Except, I'm too busy fighting off a cough. I spent two hours straight coughing after a 30 minute workout. It was miserable! It does lead me to ask though...does continuous coughing work the abs? It definitely affects the back. I'm hoping that the coughing is what is causing my back to hurt and not the need for another epidural shot. With my luck, I'll need a shot since my deductible starts over tomorrow.

The good news is that, this evening, I'm going out with the girls. We're going to a movie and then out to dinner. We're going to go see Eclipse, and I hope I can stay awake. I'm not a huge fan of the saga, and when that is coupled with NyQuil cough syrup, I could possibly fall asleep once the lights go down. Luckily, I know that I'll have a good time with the girls regardless!

Day 153-Happy Dance

Well, today I reached a milestone and was able to do my happy dance (think Snoopy). Be thankful that I'm only writing about it and not forcing you to watch as I have no rhythm and no coordination. What I do have though is enthusiasm. You see for the past couple of days (I thought the first few were a fluke), I have been wearing size 16 pants! Not size 16W but size 16. What makes this even more impressive is that I can sit in them and...wait for it...breathe at the same time. :)

Now I realize that not all size 16 clothes are the same, and I should try on a different pair just to make sure I'm not dreaming. All I have to say to that is... "Not gonna do it." I'm so happy right now so why mess with a good thing. I must go dance!!!!! Have a good one!

Day 152 - Help!

Sorry everyone, but you will not believe what happened....I was kidnapped (or is it adultnapped?). Anyway, it was quite the experience. My captors took me to undisclosed locations over the past couple of weeks. Most often, I found baseball parks or my nieces and nephews at these locations...weird. Then to make matters worse, they only fed me bread and water (who am I kidding...I'd be skinny by now). They forced me (yep, I said forced me) to eat. I have never been so scared in my life! There was birthday cake, good food, and unfortunately quite a bit of take out. It was traumatizing, but I've enjoyed myself. Oh no, Stockholm Syndrome has taken hold (too bad I didn't get a chance to ask my captors if they had any single friends). Oh well. The good news is I'm now closer to being free!!!!

I'm still keeping busy with all of the family, looking for a new job (and yes, NC is an option), eating a more balanced diet, and starting to exercise again (I mean, I'm still being held captive, but I have an escape plan in place...gotta stick to my story). Let's face it, I fell into a rut these past couple of weeks. Maybe rut isn't the right word? A trench, a chasm, a fissure...who are we kidding, let's call it what it was...an abyss. You all will be happy to know that I didn't get lost on my journey to the great, black hole of nothing. Nope, I was on a train that had a set destination. You see, I was so busy with my "routine" and following my weekly path, that I never thought to jump the tracks and leave my captors behind. Deep, I know! :)

So today, I start over! I need to remember why I started this journey in the first place. I need to get out of my rut, and start enjoying this process again. So, as of today, I promise to start blogging again (Amazingly, my captors let me have a computer). I promise to keep you all up to date on my successes and my failures because I'm sure there will be many of each. Most of all, I'm going to put more effort into me and less effort into the "we" mentality. Meaning, I'm going to quit focusing on making everyone elses life better and easier (even though I enjoy it), and work toward determining who I am and where I want my future to go. Kleenex anyone?

Wish me luck in my escape. Hum...I think I need to lose a couple of pounds to fit through the window where I'm being held. Better go work on goal number 1, falling out a window. WWJMD...What would John McLane do? Better go...I hear someone coming...shhhhhhhhhh.

Day 133 - All is lost...but the weight

Oh no! I'm in trouble. I've lost my muse!!!! I'm not funny, I'm not deep, I'm not relevant! Where has my writing mojo gone, and will I ever get it back? I need a new muse. Something to keep me going during the summer so that I can continue on my journey to losing weight. Hum....a tall, dark, handsome, single guy would do. Anybody, anybody?

Seriously, I have hit a brick wall. Who am I kidding? I broke through the brick wall as I was falling off the wagon. I ate this week like I have never seen food. If it came in a carry out sack, I ate it! What is wrong with me? Where is my will power? Apparently, it was hiding in a large Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Mix. Unfortunately, I didn't find it until I made it to the bottom of the cup. Oh the horror!!!!

Amazingly, after eating awful for a week, I have only gained a pound. Obviously, this was not the outcome that I was wanting. However, I thought that I had gained at least 5 pounds, so I'll definitely take a one pound gain. Of course, I'll also take a 50 pound loss. I'm not picky! While I may not have lost weight, I did lose things! Yay, the garage sale was a success!!!! Did I get the amount I was asking for...No. Did at least get rid of it...Yes! Less baggage...woo hoo!!!!

Deep breath...think, think, think. How can I motivate myself to continue on this journey? I know...if I gain more weight I'll force myself to go to the pool...wait for it...wait for it...without a cover-up. If that doesn't scare me into keeping on track, nothing else will! ;)

Thank you everyone for all of the support!!!

Day 127 - Where has the week gone?

I can't believe that it is Thursday already! Where has the week gone? It seems like Monday was just the other day. Of course, that is probably due to the fact that this has been a crazy, busy week. Let's start with Memorial weekend...

Friday, some of the family went to Emporia to watch Annie play in the state softball tournament. It was an exciting evening. The game was scoreless toward the end of the game. Luckily, we were the home team because the team we played scored in the top of the last inning. As a team we were not hitting well, but our bats came through at the very end. We won and advanced to Saturday's games. We won both (Annie was great), and the girls won the first ever state title in school history for any girl's sport. Way to go girls!!! K State had a rough weekend at the Big Twelve Tournament, but Daniel played great! He was named to the all-tournament team. Just one more honor to add to a growing list. Congrats!!!

Sunday and Monday I spent helping mom with my three nephews. Cade and the Rookies were playing in a baseball tournament in Kansas City, and we decided to help out with the kids. I must say that they are a hoot! I need to start writing down some of the things that they say to me. It is always fun spending time with them. Cooper was exited about playing in their small pool and had a great time "swimming". He told me that Cade taught him how. Carston was happy just to stand next to the pool at his water table and play. Colton would stand at the window, hit it with his hands, smile and yell at them. The highlight was seeing a deer in the neighbor's yard while they played. A good time was had by all.

June 1st was a great day as well! It was Megan's birthday, and how else would a mother of four spend her special day? At a baseball game of course. Cade's league team played the late night game and won. Cade played great! After swinging at some of the high ones, he had a triple. He also acted as the "closer" and struck out a few kids. It was a great evening.

As for everything else, it has just been busy. Our family is having a garage sale on Saturday so I'm trying to get organized. For those of you that know me, this is a challenge! Too bad I can't just pay Megan to do it. :) Oh well, I guess it is a learning experience. I do know that tomorrow will be stressful because inevitably I will wait until the last minute to get everything done. Note to self...schedule a photo shoot so a new picture can be put next to "procrastinator" in the dictionary. See...busy!!!

Oh yeah, no weight loss this week and no weight gain either. Bummer, but based on the amount of time I've been on the road, I'm pleased with that.

Have a good one!

Day 121 - The weekend is here!!!

I'm so happy that the weekend is here! Do I have big plans? Do I have a hot date? Is this weekend special? Yep! Let's see...do I have big plans? Of course I do! Baseball and softball, oh my. I know that you are all impressed, but let me be honest and say that I'm not playing, just going to watch as a fan. No calories lost...darn!

Do I have a hot date? Yes!!!! It is May 28 and 29th. So I guess I have two hot dates. Seriously, it is going to be 86 today and 88 tomorrow during game time. That's pretty darn hot! Where did the high 70s/low 80s go? I miss them! I'm not ready for 90 degree weather (or close to) in May. I shudder to think what July will be like.

Is this weekend special? Oh yeah! As I mentioned baseball and softball tournaments, and it is Memorial Day weekend. A weekend to thank all of those that have served our country so that we may have all of the freedoms that we do. Thanks Dad and all veterans for your years of service! God bless you all!

Day 120 - I'm finally starting to wake up

Well, yesterday was just crazy. I went with my mom & dad to Oklahoma City to watch my cousin play in the Big XII tournament. The game started at 4pm, and the score was 5-1 in the top of the 2nd. The game was then postponed due to weather. Did I mention that there was a 20% chance of rain before 7pm and 30% chance after 7pm? The delay lasted about 3 hours. We started to make a comeback in the 5th inning to tie the game 8-8, but Baylor prevailed and we lost 11-8. Daniel played great!!!! He had 3 singles, 1 RBI, grounded out to third (would have been safe but the third baseman made a great play), and walked. The game finally ended around 10pm, and we then made the 4 hour drive home. We got in at 2am, and no one really slept in the car (trust me, I tried). By the time we got home, I got my second wind and was wide awake. Needless to say that I'm feeling it today!

Baseball has in no way ended for my family. We will be cheering for the Panther softball team to win state (good luck Annie), the KSU Wildcats to beat KU on Friday and Oklahoma on Saturday (good luck Daniel), and the Rookies (9-year-old traveling team) to win their weekend tournament (good luck Cade). Good luck everyone!!!!

Take me out to the ballgame...take me out with the crowd...

Day 119 - I keep forgetting

Believe it or not, I keep forgetting to blog. I'll remember that I need to sit down and write so that all my faithful readers can read about my day (however boring it may be), but then something will come up. Mostly, I've been busy with graduation parties and birthday parties. Needless to say, all of these parties have lead to my downfall. I gained a pound! Darn it!

I could put the blame where it belongs...on me. Instead, I choose to blame everyone that hosted a party and had great food. :) How could you do it to me? All of the carbs and sweets!!! Well, to quote Scarlet, "I'll never go hungry again" as there are so many parties. Oh well! Seriously, things are progressing. Not as quickly as I might like, but they are progressing.

Well, I better go! Heading out to watch K-State play Baylor this afternoon in the first round of the Big XII Tournament. Go Wildcats!!!! Also, best of luck to my nephew Cade this evening! Go Red Sox!!!

Day 113 - The stock market and dieting are two peas in a pod

For those of you that don't know, I have started to learn about the stock market. I must say that it is a very scary subject, and I feel totally ill-prepared to navigate it alone. Not long after reaching that conclusion, I realized that dieting is like the stock market. There are highs and lows everyday in both. Granted there isn't a colored candle to rank dieting performance...thank goodness, but I do keep a tally in my head. There is definite volatility involved. In the stock market it is often viewed as investor nervousness, but in my case, it is the nervousness of the weekly weigh in. I never know which way the scale will go. Most importantly, there is volume! Yep, I said it...volume. How many calories can I eat, can I cheat by having a handful of M&Ms, will two pieces of pizza kill me? All of these questions deal with volume on a daily basis.

So, how did my personal stock do last night? Well...there were more highs than lows, there was some volatility as I knew that birthday cake would be making an appearance, I had more volume than I would like in the evening, but it wasn't too high. So overall, the stock did well. Oh yeah, I even saw one candle (Happy Birthday Colton)! It is true!!! The stock market and my diet do mirror each other. So, if anyone would like to invest in highly preforming stock, please send payments to......

Day 112 - Deep thoughts

First off...a few shout outs! Happy Birthday Colton! Congrats to high school graduates Drew and Annie! Congrats to college graduate Daniel! Best wishes to you all!

So, today was weigh in day. Unfortunately, I have not lost any weight, but the good news was that I didn't gain either. I just maintained. Yay me! I'm actually really happy with that! As long as I don't go up, I'm a happy camper!!!

I'll leave you all today with a deep thought...

If the scale needle doesn't move, but your belt notch does...was weight still lost?

Day 111 - This just in

THIS JUST IN...there has been a siting of a red woman. I repeat, there has been a siting of a women with red skin, somewhat of a pointed top, and freckles that look like seeds (?). If you see this woman, approach with extreme caution!!!! She has what is known as Strawberryitis. This is a serious condition where a person takes on the characteristics of what they eat. Right now, this women is in the early stages of this dreaded disease which consists of eating too many strawberries a day (or should I say drinking too many strawberry smoothies). If her condition worsens, please seek shelter and call Dr. Strawberry Shortcake. A picture of extreme cases has been provided for reference.
Everyone...please stay safe!!!!

Day 110 - Monday already?

No way! It's already Monday! It seems like this weekend just flew by. Friday night was great! K-State beat KU by one, and the weather was great! Saturday was rainy...again. Sunday was beautiful as we baptized the newest member of our family, and again K-State beat KU after losing to them on Saturday. Overall, it was a great weekend!!!

Last night I watched Survivor: Heroes vs. Villians. I must say I wasn't thrilled with the winner, but I was happy that it wasn't Russell! If Tyson just would have listened to Boston Rob, we would have had a completely different show. I love Boston Rob! So smart!

So after watching Survivor last night, I might need to rethink my diet. Instead of a high protein diet, I should change to the "Survivor Diet". Move into my sister Megan's backyard (she has a lot of trees...very Survioresque), learn to make a fire, live off the land (hopefully Carston, Cooper, and Cade will keep me supplied with food), build my own sleeping quarters, Megan and Eric can create challenges for me...it could work!!! It never hurts to have a back-up plan in case my current diet fails. I think I'm going to go buy rice just in case!

Have a good one!

Day 107 - Rain, Rain, Go Away

It is raining...again! I'm sooo sick of this weather! The only good news is that it isn't raining in Lawrence, and it isn't supposed to rain there until tomorrow. This evening, some of us are going to the K-State vs. KU baseball game. Hopefully, the weather will continue to be nice up there.

As for my smoothies, I have decided that no one should sell whole frozen strawberries. My poor blender is feeling the effects of having to chop those babies up. I just keep waiting for my blender to lose and the strawberries to be victorious. Keep up the good fight little blender!!!! I have also decided to try some new smoothie flavors. I'm debating on trying strawberries with peaches. We shall see. If anyone has any smoothie recipe ideas, let me know.

Have a good weekend!!!

Day 106 - I'm becoming a master at making smoothies

Well, I'm sure you are all wondering how I had such a large weight loss this week. Exercise, right? Wrong! I think I'm allergic to exercise, so I try to do the minimum amount required. Nope, I changed my diet. My doctor said that he recommends a high protein diet to all of his PCOS patients. So, I started a diet using plant protein. I have a protein shake for breakfast, one for lunch, and a healthy dinner. This is very similar to Slimfast. However, for some reason, my body is responding better to the plant protein than the high protein shakes from Slimfast.

This morning I had my favorite smoothie! It consists of orange juice, ground flaxseed, rice milk, plant protein powder, and mixed berries (strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, & blackberries). The powder didn't come with any recipes so I've become something of "Top Chef", mixing different things until I find a flavor I like. In one week, I lost 3 pounds on this diet. I can't wait to see if I'm as successful next week.

Day 105 - Finally

Well after many weeks of mastering the art of maintaining plus a small weight gain, I have finally dropped some weight!!!! Yay!!! First, I want to thank my family...your support has meant a lot. I want to thank my creative team (myself) for not giving up on a dreamer. I want to thank the fans that have read my blog and been inspired. I wasn't expecting this award, but I will gladly take it! Hey...where is my award? Seriously, don't I deserve some bling or a little statue for my shelf? Not what I expected, but fine!!! I'll be gracious about the whole thing and just be happy about my accomplishment.

Day 104 - Weigh-in Eve

Ok, I can admit it...I'm totally freaked out by tomorrows weigh in. I really, really, really want to lose at least two pounds so that I'm at 184. Darn trip to Vegas, and the good food they provided! Where are Penn and Teller when you need them? Can't they do their magic so that I have a successful weigh in day? I think I'm more nervous then usual because it has been awhile since I stood on that cold, hard, plastic device that can either leave me with tears of joy or sadness. And terrorists think water boarding is scary. Please! Put a woman desperate to lose weight on a scale and see what real fear is all about.

Day 103 - Happy Belated Mother's Day

To all you moms out there...Happy Belated Mother's Day!!!! I hope that you all enjoyed your special day. Boy, this weekend was jam packed! I had my nephew's baseball game Saturday morning (he is a heck of a pitcher), I then helped watch my youngest nephew, and I had my cousins graduation party. It is so hard to believe that he is old enough to graduate. On Sunday, the majority of my extended family went to the K-State vs Texas game. My cousin is a senior for K-State and his mom was one of the mother's that threw out the first pitch. Janice has a heck of an arm! :) Unfortunately, we lost to Texas by one. It wasn't the outcome we wanted but it was an exciting game. The only thing that ruined mother's day was that I didn't get to spend it with my mom. Mom, I love you and you were missed!!!

As for my diet, I have discovered that I'm having a hard time mastering dieting. The whole losing weight thing is hard!!! The good news is that I've mastered the art of maintaining! So, if I can ever get myself to finish losing the weight, maintaining will be a piece of cake. Piece of cake...great, food is still on the brain. UGH!!! Oh well, I'm working on it.

I also wanted to let all of my facebook friends know that I hate the application. Seriously, must happy people post about their great kids and husbands? I know what you are thinking...jealous! Of course I am! I'm so sick of my relationship status showing single. I think I may change it to "in a relationship". Let's see...are there days that I feel happy or fulfilled by a certain presence in my life? Yep! Are there days that a certain someone gets on my nerves, but I have to accept them as a part of my life? Yep! Is that presence with me everyday in good or bad, sickness and health? Yep! It's official, I'm in a relationship!!! My significant other...dieting. My love of food is constantly with me (darn it), my loathing for the cheerful people on my workout videos that are coordinated has no bounds (but I must accept them), and my body weight (the good, bad, and ugly) is consistently with me. Yep, I'm in a relationship! Seriously, I should change my facebook status just to throw everyone off. It's a thought!

Well, today is going to be a great day! My older brother and his wife will be introduced to their new baby girl in a matter of hours. Lucy will be their 5th child, and I look forward to meeting her soon. I hope as a belated Mother's Day gift, Sarah has an easy birth and a quick recovery!!! Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lucy...happy birthday to you!!!!

Day 100 - Challenging times...they are a comin'

Well, I'm proud to say that I'm back on track with my diet. Granted, it has only been one day, but I can tell that I'm on a role. Or so I like to think! However, I won't lie. The coming weeks will be a challenge. I have two high school graduation parties, two birthdays, and one baptism coming up. Yep! We will be adding a little one to the family on May 10th. How exciting!!!!

While I'm more than happy to go to all of these parties, I'm also dreading them. Why you ask? I can sum it up in one word...wait, make it three words...CAKE and ICE CREAM! I won't lie, I have a sweet tooth. Who am I kidding...I have sweet teeth. Cake and ice cream are my kryptonite. I'm not safe!!!! I'm going to have to dig deep and hope that I can find the willpower to fight the temptations of sugary goodness!

Day 99 - I'm back

Howdy all! I'm back from my trip to Vegas, and I must say that I would love to go again. I was so busy attending meetings that I wasn't able to go to any of the shows, and the person I went with doesn't like to gamble. Needless to say, the majority of my spare time was spent walking the strip. You would think that would mean that I would lose weight. Ha! Not that I ate bad, but it wasn't the healthiest I've eaten either. It doesn't help that one night we didn't do dinner due to some unforeseen circumstances, & all I had was a chocolate shake. This is where the saying "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" should apply. I even told my travel companion (my dad) that very thing. What is the first thing he tells my mom? Amy had a chocolate shake for dinner! Seriously! Seriously!!!

The good news is that I was able to play in the casino for a short time during my trip. I lost a little at roulette and craps (1st time player), but I won $55 playing Let'em Ride and $224 on the penny slots. Did I come home a millionaire? No! Did I lose weight? Probably not, and I'm not weighing in until next week because I'm too chicken to do it now. Did I come home with $20 more than what I took to Vegas? Yep!!! I actually came home about $60 dollars ahead of what I left with on Sunday. Oh well, at least I achieved one out of my three goals.

Day 93 - Vegas Baby!!!!

It is Friday, and on Sunday I head to Vegas...Yay!!!! I'm excited now, but we'll have to see how excited I am once I get back. I plan on coming home a millionaire!!! Who am I kidding? I just want to bring home no less than $20. Everyone needs a goal and that is mine.

I did need to purchase a few shirts for the trip. Unfortunately, I'm not into all of my summer clothes from last year. So, since I'm single, I want to look somewhat nice while I'm there. I must admit I hated the whole shopping experience. I know what looks halfway decent on my body, but apparently stores do not. They assume everyone wants tight shirts and pants. Hello???? Not all of us are a size 2!!!! Also, what's up with the elastic on short sleeve shirts? Where do they fear the sleeves will go? Crazy!!!

Here's hoping I hit the jackpot this weekend!!! I'll try to blog while I'm gone, but no promises! Have a great weekend!!!

Day 92 - It's all good

Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement! I'm not being too hard on myself, and I'm actually motivated to really lose this next week. Of course, I fell back into old habits last night. We had a party for my sister and her assistant coach last night. Both are retiring as from girls basketball after eight years. It was a small get together that included cake and a chocolate fountain. I couldn't resist, so I used the rationale that I'll be bad today, but good tomorrow. We all know that this can lead to a slippery slope. So, I've decided that I need a personal trainer. Please review the ad, and apply if you meet the criteria.

PERSONAL TRAINER NEEDED...looking for an individual that will enforce strict guidelines to help me lose weight. Does not require any exercise or nutritional knowledge. Must be able to slap my hand and say "No No" when I try to eat what I shouldn't. All parents are welcome to apply!

Day 91 - The aliens have won the battle but not the war

Unfortunately, the aliens won in their attempt to make me gain weight. I gained a pound. I'm actually pleased that it was only a pound. I thought it would be a lot worse. The aliens may have won this week, but I think that I'll take the prize next week.

Seriously, I feel like my diet is a Newton's Cradle. For the most part I'm constant with all of my goals lining up, but if one of the goals becomes displaced, things change. One goal being shifted may cause small shifts in momentum to the small (or middle) goals, but it has a larger impact on the furthest goal. So, I just need to remember to stay constant if I want to succeed. Wish me luck!!!

Day 90 - The aliens have left my body

Whew...the aliens have finally left my body! There was chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the freezer, and I didn't go near it. Thank goodness!!! I must say that these past few days have been extremely difficult. My lack of will power (I mean the aliens) really started me on a bad path. I was in the fight of my life this week. The fight against sweets, and I was losing the fight due to a quick right hand that would sneak all sweets past my defenses, and my coach (that inner voice that we all have) was on vacation! The good news is I think I got in a few punches yesterday, but it might be a case of too little, too ate...I mean late! I think that sweets delivered the knockout punch that will put me in the loser column for this week's weight loss. Darn alien body snatchers! That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Hopefully, my weigh in tomorrow won't be too bad. I just need to regroup and focus for the upcoming week! It too will be a challenge as I will be attending another conference May 2- May 5 in Vegas. This could be very bad! What if I have a clandestine meeting with a brownie? Or start an affair with a chocolate chip cookie? Oh, the temptation!!! Well, you know what the say...What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas (unless it shows up on the hips, legs, and thighs). Funny, how they always forget to add the last part of their slogan...hum.

Day 89 - I don't know nothin'

You know, I always thought that while I might not be a genius, I'm a pretty smart individual. I'm well read (almost every book I have read has told me how NOT to commit a murder), I watch highly stimulating shows (NCIS...those men definitely stimulate), and I'm well versed in the culinary arts (according to Duff, a chain saw is a must for cake decorators...who knew). I might not be a Rhodes Scholar, but let's face it...I'm pretty darn close. So, when it came to my diet, I was pretty sure that I had it figured it. My knowledge of my body and eating habits was of the genius level. Then, this weekend, I realized....I don't know nothin'!!!!

You see, I had no clue that aliens truly existed! They do take over our bodies. Not so much to learn about our planet and to create a new race, but they take over our bodies for one reason only...chocolate! Yep!!!! Science fiction writers have gotten it all wrong. Aliens come to earth and derail our diets by taking over our bodies and gorging themselves on foods we should not eat. It is the only explanation that makes sense! If I'm wrong, that means that I have no will power where chocolate is concerned. It means that my body was not going against everything my brain was telling it as it lifted the chocolate chip cookie toward my mouth. It means that I'm at fault. So, as you can tell, I'm confident that aliens are the culprit! Protect yourselves!!!!

Day 86 - Looking forward to the weekend

Oh man, I'm sooooo ready for the weekend, and I can’t wait to catch up on my sleep! My Dad and I attended a conference in Denver on Tuesday and Wednesday, and needless to say, it was two very long days. Our flight left KC at 6:25am (meaning we were up at 4:15am), got into Denver at 7:30am, our meetings ran from 8:30am-7:30pm on Tuesday, 8:30am-5:30pm on Wednesday, and our flight back to KC was supposed to leave at 7:25pm. It was delayed. We ended up getting in to KC at 11:30pm. By the time we drove home, it was 1:15am. Long trip!!! Thank goodness the pilot promised to "fly the plane like I stole it" to make up for some of the delay.

The funny thing is, if it was a vacation and I was doing fun things, the long days wouldn't have been so bad. Too make matters even worse the conference provided snacks. To all of you that have ever attended a conference at a hotel, you know what this means...bread, donuts, cookies, and brownies. Seriously, would it have killed them to put out some fruit? Thank goodness there was coffee!!!! I never would have survived without it.

Since the individuals at the conference wanted to derail my diet (we all know that was their main goal...the conference was just a ruse) and I kind of let them, I decided to hold off weighing myself until next Wednesday. I know myself well enough, that I know if I saw a 2+ pound weight gain, I would go to the nearest Braums and inhale as much ice cream as possible. So, I decided to remain oblivious to my possible weight gain and live in denial the rest of the week. Hopefully, by Wednesday my weight will be 185, and I can be bummed that I didn't lose any weight but maintained, instead of being bummed that I gained weight. A girl can dream!!!

Day 85 - A sad week

This week has been a tough one. A young man from our area, and one of my brother's friends, passed away earlier this week. He was hiking with his family, and he tragically slipped and fell off a group of rocks. He was only 26 year's-old. I wish that I could say that I was a friend of this young man, but I only knew him through my brother.

I think that is what has made this week so difficult. This was someone that was my brother's age. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose an immediate member of your family, but especially one so young. My thoughts and prayers are with the Meier family during this difficult time.

Eternal rest grant unto him, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon him.
May he rest in peace.
Amen.

No matter what the scale says or what I think about my life, I'm truly blessed to have the life that I do! Live your life to the fullest and enjoy every moment!!!

Day 82 - A new week

Wow...was I bad this weekend! Notice, this was not a question, but a statement. I literally felt like a vacuum this weekend. If it was food and it was in front of me, I ate it. If there was chocolate involved, I ate twice as much! Where was my willpower you ask? Willpower...what's that? That was how bad I was!!!!

You see, it is that time in my cycle where I like to believe that my metabolism speeds up, and that was I why I couldn't quit eating. Oh please, oh please let it be true!!! And let me lose a few pounds! Where was I? Oh yeah, the dreaded weigh in this week. I like to think that if any weight loss occurs this week it is due to the end of my cycle, and me throwing my body off track by eating bad instead of good. It could happen!!! We will just have to wait and see.

I also wanted to let you know that I may be unable to blog on Tuesday and Wednesday as I will be at a conference and may not have access to a computer. Also, that means that my weigh in day will be pushed back until Thursday. Thank goodness!!! Hopefully, the extra day will lead to the dropping of a few pounds. A girl can dream!!! Even though I'll be on the road, I'm going to try to eat the best I can no matter what restaurant I'm at. This is a new week! No more ice cream, hamburgers, tacos, sugary cereal, crispy chicken sandwiches...Hum, maybe I'll just be grateful if I only gain ONE pound!

Day 79 - I love Fridays

I can't tell you how excited I am that today is Friday!!! Why? No reason. I'm still going to be watching my sister's kids so it isn't like I'm going to be lazy. I guess I'm just happy that I won't be behind a computer. Oh, the little things in life. Hope everyone has a nice weekend! Good luck to Cade and the Rookies who are playing in a baseball tournament in KC this weekend!

Day 78 - A new respect for Moms

This week, I've been helping watch my four nephews, and I can't help but think of how lucky my sister and her husband are. I mean, sure, things can get hectic and the kids can get annoying when they don't get their way, but then they do something small and you realize what a blessing parenthood is!!! The oldest (9) gave me a hug before he went to bed last night, and I was so sure that he was too "old" for that. The next oldest (4) told me how much he likes it when I come over. Of course, he also knocked me down a few pegs when he said that he would rather have Grandma come over. :) Oh well! The third child (2) shares my curly hair which just makes him look angelic. He will be playing and out of no where, he will run over and kiss and hug me. Finally, the youngest (1) just looks at you with a slow grin that melts your heart. All you parents out there...I envy you, and pray that I will be so blessed in my life. If not, I'm sure my sister won't miss one! :)

Seriously though, I have a new respect for Moms that are trying to lose weight. Just the last couple of days that I have spent with my nephews has been hard. You tend to snack when they snack, eat a little here and there as you get their meals ready, and it doesn't help when one of the kids wants to feed you too. No wonder, the majority of you parents talk about how hard it is to lose weight. The only advantage (weight wise) to being a parent is you have a great workout regime. My sister's kids have certainly kept me on my toes!!! Who knows if it will lead to a weight loss or gain this coming week, but regardless of what happens, I have gained memories that will last me a lifetime!

To all you moms out there...God bless you!

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone

Day 77 - I'm psychic

I'm psychic...who knew? Being a psychic, you would have thought I would know of my abilities but, alas, I did not! Maybe I should get my own show, or I would be happy to guest star on the USA series Psych. I could play a fake psychic too! I mean, I ramble and lose my train of thought just like Shawn and Gus. Sign me up!!!!

Where was I? Oh yeah, I sure called it yesterday when I said that I wouldn't lose any weight this week...darn Chipotle! However, I'm pleased to say that I have not gained any weight either (thank goodness for high protein meals). This week, I'm helping take care of my nephews. I hope and pray that they stay as active as ever so I'm constantly on my toes. Hopefully, this will help with the weight loss next week! Hum...on my toes. Maybe I should try weighing in this way. Just a thought!

Day 76- The bad and the good

Well, the bad news is I most likely will not lose any weight this week. I have no one to blame but myself. I made a trip to visit my brother and his family over the weekend, and I couldn't resist stopping at Chipotle! Who could? Was I good? Did I try to eat high protein, and a small portion? Nope, I gave into the heavenly aromas and got a burrito. Then, to make things worse, I ate the whole thing! Ay, caramba!

The good news is that I am 9 pounds away from what I weighed around this time in 2008. You know, the summer of the "Great Beach Vacation"! Okay, for non-family members, this is when my mom's whole family (36 of us, minus a couple of my siblings and their families) went to the beach in North Carolina. It was a blast!!! Even though I was not as bathing suit ready as I wanted to be, the trip was a lot of fun. Oh, the beach...sand, water, the nice breeze....where was I? Oh yeah, I'm 9 pounds away from my previous best of 176. This is thrilling for so many reasons. Mostly, I'm excited because I have clothes from my time at the beach! No shopping for me!!!!! Yay!!!!! Now, what was the bad again?????

Day 75 - What a weekend!

First, let me start off by saying that I have made a huge decision. I will no longer be blogging on weekends. What can I say...budget cuts! Seriously, I never get on the computer on the weekends, so I totally forget to blog. I wanted to let you all know so that you wouldn't waste your weekend waiting for me to post. :)

As for this weekend, it was great! Uncle Mark and Aunt Margie were in town so quality family time was shared. Then, I went and visited my brother Paul and his family. I got my hair done as well. I was amazed! The lady I went to showed me the correct way to do curly hair. Amazing! Who knew that my curl was supposed to look like it was done with a curling iron. I tried to replicate it this morning, and I would say that I was 80% successful. Not bad! I also got new make-up. Man is that expensive. Then, I got to thinking...I only buy make-up once a year, so really the price wasn't that bad. Still, I thought I was going to have a heart attack! On Sunday, I was able to watch my nephew win his baseball tournament. They beat a team that they had not previously beaten until this tournament. Cade played great, and it was a lot of fun!

I only hope that this week is as great as my weekend!!!

Day 72 - Someone needs a talkin' to

So, I've lost 11 pounds and I'm feeling good! I think to myself, you know I need some workout clothes that don't look 10 years old, and that I'm not embarrassed to be seen working out in. The problem...everything is skin tight! Especially Nike, there XL is a Large and skin tight. Seriously, has anyone thought that maybe skin tight and XL do not go together? To me, this is a duh moment! And they wonder why as a country we are obese. What overweight person wants to walk into a gym wearing skin tight clothes knowing that there are skinny people inside that just don't get it.

You know, I should start a gym chain. They will be called...svelte (for the skinny girls), voluptuous (for the middle sized girls), and A Lot to Love (for the big size girls). Then as you lose weight, your membership changes to the gym that fits you. There would be no embarrassment, no feelings of being judged. Perfect, right? We could even sell my workout video...Cardio Sculpt for the Uncoordinated. I also have a new product idea. Why not have a bungee run...Try for the Guy? Instead of trying to out reach your competitor, have a hot, single guy at the end. What single girl wouldn't be up for that.

All the single ladies, all the single ladies, now put your hands up, oh oh oh...

Day 71 - I'm excited

Well, this weekend should be fun! I'm going to spend some time with my brother, sister-in-law and niece on Friday and Saturday. Then on Saturday, it is a whole new me. I'm going to a salon that specializes in curly hair (it's about time), and I'm going to do something drastic! Who knows, maybe, I'll chop all of my hair off and rock an Afro. Or, I might change my hair color. I've always wondered, do blonds have more fun? Maybe, I should go red and show my passionate and fiery side (this side does exist, but hides a lot). I could always go coal black and be dark and mysterious. Hum... or I could do my typical trim (an inch at the most) and chocolate brown (see I never escape food) to cover my gray. Any opinions? Or this could be my new look...just a thought!

Day 70 - The miracles, they just keep a comin'

Well, as I'm sure you guessed, I lost another pound. I can only contribute this to another "miracle". I mean, you are all aware of the "torture" that I was subjected to over the weekend. The cruelty of those great cooks and bakers that didn't just bring one type of food. Oh no, they brought two! Desserts that they knew I could not resist. It was their goal to sabotage all that I have accomplished! They all know that my will power does not exist when Oreo (dirt) Cake and Heath Bar Cake are placed in front of me. They (my family) hate me I tell you...hate me!!!! And the Oscar for complete exaggeration with high drama goes to....Amy!!! Thank you!

Seriously, this past week was not a great one by any means, but it wasn't awful. On Saturday, I knew I was going to have a little (little being the key word) of my two favorite desserts. I knew that this wouldn't kill me (maybe bruise me a little, but not kill me) since I had a high protein brunch that day. I have found that if I have normal portions of carbs, protein, and fat four times a week as well as high protein meals three times a week, I will lose at least one pound. For someone with PCOS, this is a great accomplishment. To maintain a one pound a week weight loss is not a certainty for someone with my condition. Needless to say, I'm thrilled!!! I can't wait until my next "miracle"...dropping a pant size.

Day 69 - A post-Easter Miracle

Last night was great! Duke beat a great Butler team by 2 points to become the 2010 National Champions! It was everything that a championship game should be. There were no huge leads, just two teams battling to the end. I loved every minute of it!!!! The only down side was the highlight video at the end. Jennifer Hudson sang One Shining Moment. While I typically like her voice, I hated her version of the song. It was all about showing off vocally instead of feeling the true meaning behind the words (FOX...I'm willing to replace Simon Cowell next year, and will happily accept his paycheck). Also, they kept showing her! What's up with that? Was she playing in the tournament and I missed it? Seriously, the tournament is about the athletes and not the singer. Whew...glad I got that off my chest! What do you think?



All of the early polls, where fans voted, had Duke being the first number one seed to lose in the tournament. How fitting that they were the last team and only number one seed still standing. I must admit, while I enjoyed the game, I also watched with great sadness. Basketball is over! How will I ever survive? (Insert Gloria Gaynor here)

Basketball has come to an end,
I am happy or so I pretend.
I will miss the close games,
and all of the great names,
that made this tournament great,
and no one can debate,
that Duke was crowned number one,
and boy was it great fun!

Day 68 - Day 67 is missing too

What can I say! It was beautiful yesterday, it was Easter, and again I totally forgot to blog. Crazy! Apparently, that 21 days makes a habit philosophy is not true for me. That would explain why I can never stick with an exercise program. Hum...who knew that it would take a blog for me to come to this realization. What can I say...I'll use any excuse I can! :)

I hope that everyone had a safe and blessed Easter! I had a great time with my family, but there was a downside to the festivities. Let's just say that I will never work for the CIA or FBI. I would be taken hostage and threatened to tell all of my secrets, but I know that I would never betray any confidences. Then, my captors would say, "we have ways of making you talk", and they would bring in the big guns. Yep, Heath Bar Cake and Oreo (Dirt) Cake! I would crumble from this type of torture(nice food reference)!!! I have to tell you...my will power is non-existent. I'm sure that you all must realize that these two desserts were present at the Easter festivities...darn it, and I succumbed. :(

Thank goodness that my weekend had a positive side as well (besides the religious holiday)! Duke won! All you haters out there, all I can say is "Ha, Ha, Ha!" Childish, I know, but I love that we are in the championship game tonight. The other good news is that I can ride my bike throughout the game, and pray that my "torture" from this weekend is pedaled away. Oh please, oh please, oh please! Hopefully, my evening will be complete with a Duke win!!!

Duke is no fluke,
everyone is spooked,
that Butler will lose,
instead of cruise.
I hope Duke will win,
and this will begin,
years of great teams,
this will fulfill my dreams.
But first,
before I burst,
I hope that tonight is full of grins,
as Duke wins,
the final game,
that will proclaim,
Duke the best,
of all of rest,
and help alleviate the sadness,
of the end of March Madness.

Have a good one!!!

Day 66 - Where did day 65 go?

I can't believe it! I actually forgot to blog yesterday. I'm sure many of you were shocked and saddened by this turn of events. To be honest, I had such a busy Friday, that I totally forgot to even get on a computer. Yesterday, I spent the day shopping with my sister, attending Good Friday services, and winding down. For those of you that know me, you know that shopping is not my thing. And, guess what? My opinion of shopping has still not changed. If there isn't a book involved, why am I there? Who knows,once I lose more weight it could be fun, but I doubt it.

I tried on some clothes, but nothing really worked. I either looked like I was dressed in a tent, or the tops made "the girls" stand out way too much. I did find one top thanks to my sister. I didn't want to buy it because I was in that "nothing looks good" phase, but she talked me into it. What can I say, my sister was right! (Write that down Megan because you may never see or hear it again). Seriously, I don't have many shirt options as it is (give me 5 more pounds and I'll have plenty) so I have to stop thinking woe is me and focus on what works right now. Thanks Megan!

Have a Happy Easter!!!

Day 64 - Age is just a number

Today, for the first time, I truly believe that age is just a number. It does not reflect who we are and how we behave. I am a prime example! To watch me dance or exercise, you would think I was 80 years-old. Why 80? Because my coordination and grace is that of someone well in the years. To look at my clothes, you would think I was in my early 40s. What can I say...I dress in baggy, shapeless clothes and it ages me. To see me working today, you would consider me a high school student. No work tomorrow makes it hard for me to want to work today. Sound familiar to all of you teachers? To see me with my nieces and nephews, you would think I was 8 years-old. What can I say, I'm a dork. :) Finally, if you were to judge me on my activity level, you would put me at the 8 month mark. I can move if I want. But, I take my time, and I only move when I want to.

Now, you may have noticed, that none of these ages reflect my true age of 32-years-old. So, I'm hoping that by the end of the year all of that will change. By losing the weight and getting my body in gear, I hope to wear more age appropriate clothes, be more focused, and want to exercise. That will definitely help me to feel better about myself and more comfortable in my own skin (no matter what my age may be).

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Day 63 - Drum roll please

It is official! I have hit a milestone!!! I have lost 10 pounds!!!! Yay me! Now, I just need to figure out what "reward" to give myself for reaching my goal. I mean, once a girl buys herself a big ticket item for reaching her first goal, where do you go from there? Since I just bought the new furnace/AC unit, maybe I'll gift myself with new plumbing or rewiring the house. Hum...who am I kidding? That should be saved for the 25 pound milestone! :) Seriously, I'm really pleased with my results. I am averaging one pound a week! So, for the month of April, my goal is to lose 5 pounds. I'm really excited because this is doable.

I just hope that the weather doesn't get too hot too soon. Since my clothes are still fitting the same, I don't have many items that I can wear. The good news is another 5-10 pounds, and it will be like I have a whole new wardrobe! So, like I mentioned, my new goal is to lose 5 pounds by the end of April. In addition, I want to drop the W from my pants size, and lose my double chin (especially before my nephew and neice lose theirs). What can I say...I'm competitive!

I also want to thank everyone for their kind words, support, and love! I couldn't have done it without all of you!!!

Day 62 - The agony of weigh in eve

Oh...I hate Tuesdays almost more than I hate Wednesdays (weigh in day)! I sit and agonize over whether I did enough to drop even half a pound. I dream that I get on the scale and there is a massive weight loss, only to realize it is a dream! Oh, the pressure! Have I mentioned that I don't handle pressure well? Why? Because my trigger for wanting to eat is stress and pressure...well, also sadness, boredom, depression, hunger...make it stop! Yeah, so basically, I love to eat no matter what I'm feeling. Not good!

I will say that I have managed my emotional eating rather well this week. We won't mention the cinnamon roll, Braum's hamburger, and fries that I had over the weekend...darn! Did I mention that I stink at keeping secrets too? So, my eating wasn't unbelievable, but it wasn't bad either. I ate well, so I rewarded myself (maybe a little too much) by having some foods that I craved. Oh, how I wish I could crave a salad! I did exercise (I love the bike) to make up for my "You're doing great, eat a hamburger and fries day". Hopefully, my cheat day wont kill me! Please, oh please!

Yesterday, I again exercised through osmosis by watching Dancing with the Stars! I had no idea that their was another dancer on the show with my elegance and grace. No, I'm not talking about Pamela Anderson (though I see the resemblance...hopefully some men are reading this). My dancing double is none other than...drum roll please...Buzz Aldrin. Yep, I have the elegance and grace of an 80-year-old. What can I say...I'm inept. I admit it, and I embrace it! While I may not be a dancing diva or light on my feet, I can make people smile and lighten their day. Hum...does this make me an American Hero? I may never have walked on the moon, but I have eaten a Moon Pie...does that count with NASA? More thought provoking questions tomorrow!

Day 61 - What a beautiful day!

Happy Monday!!! Wait, is that an oxymoron? Can people be happy on a Monday? Oh well, first off let me take care of some business. Happy belated birthday to my sister-in-law Meagan, and my cousin's children Sam and Emma. I hope you all enjoyed your special day!!! Also, I want to welcome my Aunt Margie to the blog. This is a scary place to visit. Who knows what little thoughts and tidbits are in my mind! But, I appreciate you talking a walk on the wild side.

Today is a beautiful day! The sun is shining, my pants feel loose (but that could be because of the elastic...hum), and I think I might actually get to walk outside today!!!! Of course, I also am still feeling the euphoria of Duke making it to the Final Four, so that is probably why I'm lovin' Monday! It is a high like no other! There were many polls that projected that Duke would be the first number one seed out of the tournament, but Duke is the ONLY number one seed in the Final Four! I feel like a proud parent...of course, I'm not a parent so I'm just guessing!

As for my goal (and yes I have a goal), I'm hoping to have a good weigh in this week, but I won't lie...the weekend scares me!!! Easter...such a dreaded word for those of us on a diet. Thank goodness the Easter Bunny will not be visiting my house. Due to the chocolate and sugar filled celebration of this great religious holiday, I'm planning on working my tail off (and, yes, that is a reference to the Easter Bunny). I still have my double chin, I still am wearing the same size clothes, and I'm still single (shocking, I know). But, I'm not depressed, I'm not sad because I really haven't done that bad. (Who knew so much rhyming went on in mind...scary). So, this week, I'm hoping the weather stays nice, my pants stay on (ok...that didn't sound good), that I can keep exercising outdoors, and that Duke makes it to the "Big Dance" on Monday! Fingers crossed!!!

Day 60 - A good day

I'm still loving life!!!! K State lost yesterday, but my team ( Duke) won. It was a tough, close game, but we pulled it out in the end. Duke hasn't been to the Final Four since 2004...can you believe it? I'm so excited!!!! I hope everyone had as good a day as I had. Have a good evening!

Day 59 - Life can't get any better

I'm loving life! Last night, Duke beat Purdue! It wasn't pretty, but a win is a win. This morning, I spent time with my sister and three of her boys. We went to the city Easter Egg Hunt. They broke the kids up into age groups, so I went to the 3-5 hunt while my sister went to the 0-2 hunt. It was great! I didn't even knock over any kids to help my nephew! Am I great or what? :)

Today, I'm going to spend my afternoon watching basketball! K State is playing a tough Baylor team this afternoon. I would love to see them make it to the Final Four. And, of course, my main team Duke plays on Sunday! Let's go Duke!!!! I'm feeling good, I'm eating good, and I'm enjoying my life!

I'm not foolin',
I'm rooting for Pullen,
Clemente can play,
and hit the trey.
K State is first rate,
and I can't wait,
to see if they advance,
to the Big Dance!!!

Day 58 - Rollercoaster Ride

Wow! Last night truly had ups and downs. K State battled a tough Xavier team last night and pulled off a win in double overtime! I'm sure I've asked this before, but I will ask the question again...Does an accelerated heart beat lead to an accelerated metabolism? If so, I had two and a half hours of strenuous exercise. Possibly, my best workout yet! The down side was that Cornell lost to Kentucky. Darn, I picked that upset. Oh well!

Oh yeah, I also ate great yesterday! Yesterday was all about high protein. I can just feel the pounds melting away! Alright, that's a lie. I've lost 9 pounds (not that you can tell by looking at me) in 58 days so it isn't exactly melting away. It is more playing hide and seek...forcing me to guess where the weight has gone. Apparently, it is well known that I enjoy games since my weight loss is always a guessing game. Woe is me...why do I have to love games? Why can't my weight loss be noticeable to the naked eye? So....do you think I was dramatic enough? Here's keeping my fingers crossed for an Oscar next year!!! Best dramatic writing in a nonsensical blog! Pick me, pick me!!!!!

Well, tonight, should be a good night! Duke plays Purdue, and I'm hoping for a "W" (Seriously, that rhyme was completely accidental, and I will not even attempt a rhyme with Krzyzewski)! A Duke win would definitely make for a happy Friday!

One, two, we better beat Purdue
three, four, I really hope we score
five, six, don't shoot bricks
seven, eight, I can't wait
nine, ten, to see Duke win!

LET'S GO DUKE!!!!!

Day 57 - Like a little kid

Today, I feel like a kid in a candy store. Wait...candy would ruin the diet. I feel like a kid at a salad bar. Now, I'm just sad! I feel like a kid on a snow day! Yep, that will work. I'm happy, I'm giddy, and I'm ready for some fun!!!

Amazingly, I'm not talking about my weight loss (I'm happy about that too). I'm talking about the sun starting to shine (we had rain here), the evening almost upon us, and basketball soon to be seen on my TV. The drought is over...Alleluia!!!! Here's hoping that Cornell and K State win today!

K State is first rate,
now they await,
a team ranked number six,
I deem a good mix.
K State is playing great,
and they create,
excitement and cheer,
this may be their year.
They have great guards
that are held in high regards.
Hopefully, they won't need a savior
to beat Xavier.

Not my best work, but it was the best I could do! Seriously, you rhyme something with Xavier! :) Talk at you tomorrow!!!

Day 56 - So, how did I do?

I did it! I lost 13 pounds this week! So, now that I have your attention, how did I really do? I lost 1 1/2 pounds this week. Which in my mind is the equivalent of 13 pounds, so really my first statement is accurate when you think about it. Or at least in my mind it's accurate. Let's face it, my mind works in weird and mysterious ways that many of you will never understand...but I'm ok with that. :)

This week, I did a great job of eating the right combinations of protein, fast carbs, and slow carbs. This has been the most challenging aspect of eating right. If I had my way, I would be the spokesperson for Taco Bell's Diet Menu. Oh, I miss the days of the Olympics and my quest for endorsement deals. Maybe Taco Bell is my big break...Think outside the bun! Someone, anyone...call me!

Now that I have put out my desperate plea for sponsorship. Where was I? (Seriously, I never should blog before having my cup of coffee as I tend to ramble). Oh yeah, my eating was on point this week. The exercise...not so much. It was alright, but it wasn't great...baby steps. Come to think of it, watching me exercise is like watching a baby take his or her first steps. It is exciting, nerve racking, and I'm a klutz so at some point I'll fall down (which is cute when your a baby but not so much when you're 32). I much prefer the soldier crawl of exercise. You know, walking or riding the bike. It isn't exciting, but I get it done without any fanfare. Oh, fanfare...I miss the Olympics. Where was I? Hum...coffee sounds good...where's my cup?...I know I left here somewhere....

Day 55 - Weigh In Eve

Wow, I have been so busy today that I almost forgot that I haven't blogged! Knowing that I don't want to disappoint my peeps (word...I'm dope), I jumped on the computer as quickly as I could. Well, of course, I didn't jump on the computer that would have broken it... and ouch...well, you get the point. Anyway, I knew that it was important for me to put my thoughts into words (scary, I know) and keep all of you in the loop on how I'm doing.

I know many of you were worried about me! Basketball depression is not a laughing matter. Yesterday was definitely a rough one with no basketball in sight. There were no mascots, no updates, no buzzer beating shots. How did I cope? Amazingly, not with food, but by watching Dancing With the Stars.

Yes, you heard right! Now, typically, I would not be caught dead watching this show (I believe I made my fear of spandex and sparkly things well known during the Olympics), but I couldn't resist. I wanted to see how Niecy Nash did because that woman cracks me up! I loved it! She said that she doesn't want to be a typical contestant and lose weight through this process. She likes her jiggly parts. :)

I, too, like my jiggly parts. But, I would prefer a little wiggle to a lot of jiggle (that didn't sound right). Hum...I would prefer to giggle instead of jiggle (nope...still doesn't sound right). Where was I? Jiggle, jigglers...great, now I want jello!

Here's hoping that I can wiggle away my jiggle, and whittle away a little, when I step on the scale tomorrow to see if I'm fit as a fiddle. Boo...hiss...that's terrible! Did I mention that the voices in my head are hecklers? Have a good one!

Day 54 - Hi! My name is Amy...

Hi! My name is Amy, and I'm a basketballaholic. I have gone less than a full day without any basketball (including highlights), and I feel the need for a hit. I can't believe that I have to wait until Thursday for more of my favorite "drug". Now, I'll admit, one of my "drugs" of choice is no longer available (darn Northern Iowa for beating KU), but at least I still have my other favorite (Let's Go Duke!).

These next few days will be trying! I could very easily fall into a deep depression from my lack of basketball viewing. This could lead to overeating and weight gain. Now, I know what you're thinking...it's like I'm setting myself up to fail this week. But, that is not true! I'm sure that I have lost a few pounds, but if I'm wrong, it never hurts to have planted seeds for a possible weight gain. :) I'm just sayin...

Seriously, I ate much better this week than the previous week. My exercise routine remains on the low side (unless you count exercise through osmosis...I watched a lot of basketball), but I hope to change that this week. Unfortunately, my back is starting to bother me again, so I think I'm babying myself just a little and not doing much. But, that ends today (deja vu, I know)! This time, I truly mean to start an exercise regime and stick with it (I hope). I'm going to start the Couch to 5K program again. Today will be my first day. I plan to keep it easy and not over tax myself. Hopefully, this week I will have a big weight loss! And if I don't, I can always blame it on my basketball induced depression...darn basketball! :)

Here's to loving life, living right, and looking good while doing it...Amy

Day 53 - Mourning

Yesterday was a sad, sad day! KU lost to a very good Northern Iowa team in the second round of March Madness. As you can tell from my black background, I'm in mourning! While I feel for KU, I'm more upset about my bracket. There is no recovery for this loss. Thank goodness Duke advanced as well as K State.

I love the madness,
but it brought great sadness,
to a great team,
it ended their dream.
KU was the best,
until this last test.
Their loss was a fluke,
now all I can say is...Let's go Duke!

Day 52 - Are you kidding me?

Yesterday was beautiful! My basketball teams were winning, I finished my sister's highlight video, and the weather was beautiful. You couldn't have asked for a better day! I was so looking forward to enjoying the beautiful weather this weekend. Then I made the mistake of going online and reading the comments on Facebook. We are supposed to get sleet and snow on Saturday...are you kidding me?

Apparently not, since there was snow on the ground when I woke up this morning. It's crazy! It's not supposed to snow a day after being 60 degrees. Oh well, if I have to stay inside today, at least I have basketball to watch. Go KU & K State!!!

Rock, Chalk, make sure you block,
Shoot and score, play hardcore,
Defend and get wins, thank God for the twins,
Go red and blue, good for you,
Fans will flock to watch you slew,
Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk...Go KU!

Day 51 - What's my problem (no comments please)

Yesterday, the madness began...and it kept going, and going, and going. It was the best first day of basketball I've seen in a long time! I was enthralled and loved every minute of it. But as the day progressed, I noticed a trend. I was cheering for every underdog team (except Lehigh).

What's my problem? I filled out a bracket. I should be cheering for all of the teams that I picked, but no...I was cheering for Murray St., Robert Morris, San Diego State, Montana. It was madness!!!! Which I guess should be expected since the tournament is referred to as March Madness...still!

Now as you know, I live to learn (or I like to think I do). So, what have I learned? I'm not a competitor. It isn't about winning the bracket challenge and out picking my friends and family (which is what it should be about). Nope, I'm a defender of the underdog, the downtrodden (ok, so downtrodden is kinda harsh), the Davids vs. Goliaths (unless it is KU and Duke). I'm for the little people (which is funny when you think of how tall basketball players are but I digress). I'm hoping that today is just as exciting as yesterday!!!! May every underdog win (except Ark. Pine Bluff), and may my Mom continue to shine as our bracket leader (two losses...not bad...especially since she doesn't watch basketball much).

My March Madness Poem (Seriously, Hallmark...call me)

Here's to more madness,
which I'm sure will bring sadness,
as teams soar and try to score,
to lead their teams to the Sweet Sixteen,
and play clean,
to reach the scene,
that will lead them to the overall dream.
A dream of winning,
and beginning,
a quest to be the best,
as they impress,
the fans that cheer and drink their beer (stay with me),
as they watch teams earn more wins,
with big grins,
and dance their way to the day,
that everyone hopes to play.
The big dance is their chance,
to play ball,
and win it all,
without sadness,
and survive the March madness.

Happy March Madness!!!!

Day 50 - Let the madness begin

As I'm sure many of you know, I'm a very deep and thoughtful person. I like to sit and contemplate the world in which we live. What can I say, my mind never stops! So, today, I began thinking about national holidays. What makes a national holiday (other than the government proclaiming it to be one)? Is it a day that people throughout this great nation rally around? Does everyone stop and celebrate the day with friends and family? Do people get together to eat, drink, and enjoy this special day? Is that what makes a holiday? If that is the case, I have made a decision!

I'm declaring March Madness a holiday!!!! Oh, what wonderful days! It is like a fairy tale. There are often Cinderella stories of the tournament with the underdogs beating the top ranked teams. Teams that shouldn't win but do. Then, there are the fans. Those individuals that feel so much emotion during this wondrous time. It brings joy, togetherness, and for some, it brings upset and tears. I can't think of a better "holiday"! There should be Hallmark Cards for this joyous occasion! Um...employment opportunity?

To all of my faith readers, Happy March Madness! May your teams be nimble, may your teams be quick, my your teams trump the teams that make you sick. May your teams advance to the big dance as they score and make their way to the Final Four! Hallmark...call me!!!!

Rock Chalk Jayhawk...KU!!! (By the way if anyone has a good idea for a KU inspired background, please let me know).

Day 49 - Do I have to weigh in?

This week has certainly been educational. We are all aware of the adages don't run with scissors, don't cry over spilled milk, the early bird gets the worm, etc. But, what about the everyday words of wisdom that our parents don't share with us. You know...be careful when ordering off the menu at IHOP, just because Wendy's offers crispy chicken doesn't mean you need to order it, just because there is one piece of pizza left in the box doesn't mean you need to eat it, and my personal favorite...just because you like candy and ice cream doesn't mean you need to mix the two.

Now, as you are reading, I'm sure you are detecting a theme. It was a baaaaaaaddddd week!!!! Everything I know I shouldn't eat, I ate. Did I exercise? No! So how bad was the weigh in you ask? I gained (gulp) a pound and a half. Now, there are two ways to look at this. The first being, this is awful! I was on a roll (and not eating any). This is a HUGE step backward. I will never survive this downfall. Oh the horror, oh the shame! Or, the second outlook, you can view this as a positive. Sure, I was awful, but it could have been a lot worse. I didn't eat much protein this week, I didn't exercise, and I ate out a lot...if I really buckle down this week I can definitely lose the weight I gained.

Needless to say, I'm going to look at this as a positive. Ok, so I fell off the wagon and took down everyone in way. It's fine! I just need to work harder this week than I did last week. I am woman hear me roar, I'm a dieting dynamo watch me soar (needs work), but you get the point. I can do this. Next week, I plan to have lost the pound and a half I gained. I can do it!!!

Before I go, one last piece of advice...don't cry over spilled ice cream as you are running with chocolate in your hand to be the early bird that gets the gummy worm. I bet your parents never told you that one!

Day 48 - Crossroads

Well, I have reached a time in my life where I need to make some difficult decisions...and no I'm not talking about whether to get highlights or dye my hair one color. Although, that is something that needs to be pondered at a later date. No, my tough decision is what do I want to do with my life.

In the next year, I'm going to need to ask myself some tough questions. Where do I want to live? What type of job do I want? Do I want to start working in sales or go a different route? Do horizontal stripes really make you look fat? Is there such a thing as too much chocolate? You know, the really HARD questions.

Seriously though, I don't have a clue where my life should go. I do know that more than anything I want to have children and a family. So, it is kind of hard to think about a "career" when I always thought that I would be married by now, and that my "career" would be taking care of my family. I do know that whatever I decide, I will put 100% into ensuring that I succeed at the choices I make for my life. If anyone hears of any job opportunities, please feel free to forward them to me.

To be honest, I just want a sign from God. I'm not picky. It can be a small sign or a large sign, but I would be grateful for any sign at all. Maybe I should have been more specific...

Day 47 - My dieting life

I realized today that I stink at dieting and exercise. I'm sure I've mentioned the "can't tell if I've lost or if I've gained weight" problem, and how that can cause me to sabotage what I've accomplished. I eat bad for a couple of days, but I'm sure I haven't gained since my clothes fit the same. Wrong...I'm probably up two pounds. I'm sure that is what is going to happen this week, but I have no one to blame but myself (and IHOP).

If I were to look back on my past week (Wednesday through today), I would have to compare my diet and exercise regime to that of Mario Kart for the Wii. My diet is like the courses of the game. It is ever changing, and I can only master a few of the courses (just ask my 4-year-old nephew). As for exercise, let's just say..."thank goodness for multiple lives". When it comes to exercise this past week, it feels like my screen character (Peach...seriously, who doesn't want to have their own crown) continues to drive herself off into the abyss.

So this week, I need to pick a course that I know I can master and I need to try to use only one life. No more falling off the wagon (or in this case, falling to my death and using up all of my lives). I just need to keep hearing my nephew's voice in my head. Whenever I want to quit playing, he says, "but Amy, you're really doin' good". So this week, when I want to quit the "diet and exercise" game, I need to remember my nephew and that no matter what...I'm really doin' good.

Day 46 - Where did the weekend go?

I can't believe that the weekend is over!!! No, I'm not ready for Monday! I want Saturday back!!!! I feel like all I did today was sleep, watch basketball, read, and watch The Amazing Race. Now, those of you with keen minds realize that again I failed to mention exercise. Did I mention that time just flew by me today? So, starting tomorrow, I start over. I dedicate myself to working out a little everyday. Here's hoping for a better tomorrow (exercise wise)...of course, on the bright side, it can't get any worse than this past week (thank goodness).

Day 45 - Lazy Day...Yay!!!

I love Saturdays!!! These beautiful days give me the opportunity to be as lazy or as busy as I want to be. Needless to say, today was all about being lazy. I lounged, loafed, lazed, lolled..ok I'm out of "L" words but you get the point. I spent most of the day watching TV (way to go Duke and KU) or read a book. Now, I know that my lazy day will not lead to weight loss because no exercising was done, but I definitely consider it a great "me" day (and I love me...ok, that sounded shallow). Hope you have a lazy day too!

"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired." -Jules Renard

Day 44 - You learn something new everyday!

Nine pounds! What an accomplishment! Do my clothes fit different? No! Is my body starting to firm up? I wish! Has my double chin magically disappeared? Nope! So, today I have made a profound discovery. Most babies have what is called "baby fat" and second chins, but have you ever really noticed how long it takes for babies to lose what we deem as "cute chubbiness"? Years! Boy, am I in trouble!

Does this mean that my double chin will be present for years? Because let me tell you, "cute chubbiness" does not apply to 32-year-old women...darn it? Too bad I didn't grow up when Rubenesque women were popular. I would be famous! As it is, I have love handles on top of love handles...with so many "handles" it amazes me that some guy hasn't grabbed on. :)

So, today's lesson (besides Rubenesque...big word, meaning plump or rounded usually in a pleasing or attractive way) is to embrace my "cute chubbiness" because it may be longer lasting then I like, but eventually (with a lot of hard work) it will fade away. Have a stupendous weekend! Boy, another big word...anybody up for Scrabble?

Day 43 - Saying goodbye after eight years

Well, I'm sorry to report that we lost in the first round of state this year, and my sister and her assistant coach are now officially retired. It is so sad after eight years to think that these two will not be sitting side-by-side on the bench. I am so proud of all that they have accomplished. It has been a joy to watch them all of these years, and to pitch in when I could. Their dedication to the girls, to the school, and to the sport is much appreciated. Thanks for all of your hard work!!! Love you guys!!!

Day 42 - No change

Well, the bad news is that I didn't lose any weight this week, but amazingly I didn't gain either. I'm actually a little in shock about that. I was positive that I would gain, but I'm definitely not going to question it. The scale doesn't lie, right? (unless it says something that I don't agree with and then anything is possible)

So, today is "G" day...game day! My sister's team plays late this afternoon in the first round at the state tournament. I hope we win for so many reasons!

1. I would love my sister to end her career with a win at state.
2. Our girls have gone to state three years prior to this trip and have never won a first round game.
3. In the history of our school, no girls team has ever won the first game at state.
4. If we win the first round, we are guaranteed two more games. This could be huge for my weight loss! Do you know how many stairs are at some of these gyms, plus the long walks from the parking lot? Where is my pedometer?

Seriously though, please keep my family in your prayers as we travel today! Also, pray that our girls play to the best of their abilities and no one gets injured. Well, I better get ready to go! Good Luck Sis!!!!

Day 41- Tomorrow will not be pretty

Oh no! Wednesday is almost upon us, and most of you knows what that means...weigh in day (insert scary music here). Yep, tomorrow will be a nightmare as I step on the scale after a week of being bad. I know what you are thinking...how bad could it be. Picture the movie Up. Instead of numerous balloons, picture me (or my troll doll if you don't know me) as a blimp lifting the house off it's foundation.

I'm sure you are thinking it can't be that bad, but I need to be brutally honest. My exercise regime took a big hit during substate week as I was either at a game or watching my nephews (which I love to do). Also, I already mentioned my two M&M meals this weekend (not my smartest move). To top it off, I think I'm getting PMS which will add bloating and weight gain (that is my excuse and I'm sticking to it). I'm sure you are wondering what lead me to that conclusion. I'm pretty sure it was when I was fighting back tears during Die Hard II (and no I was not crying because it wasn't a great movie) that was when I realized that this most likely won't be my week. I might even (gulp) gain weight. Oh the horror!

While gaining weight will be hard to take, I know that I will do better next week (I hope)! So for today, I may be a little sad and scared about tomorrow, but to put my own spin on a famous quote..."Life is like a box of chocolates"...Ok, I forgot what came after chocolate. Oh yeah, "Life is like a box of chocolates...some chocolates are a surprise and some are full of nuts (and no I'm not talking about any family members), but no matter what chocolate (type of life) we have, it's always good in the end! Wow, deep! It brings a tear to the eye doesn't it? Have a good one!